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Mullumbimby residents, lock your doors

Rest not, ye gentle citizens of Mullumbimby! Beware the uniformed zealot patrolling our streets for deviously unrestrained unlocked car doors or criminally left-open windows. Thou shalt not do such a relaxed thing under pain of punishment. God-the-policeman will bust thee and rob thee of $104 for each offence and many more if thou readest not p6 of Byron Shire Echo of 8th April, 2015, vouchsafing these commandments to thine heart.

Heed ye, oh Mullumites, thou North Coasters must prepare for thy death; the death of free choice. The highwayman cometh! This Sodom and Gomorrah laid-back lifestyle incurreth wrathful retribution of fire and brimstone, and demandeth the coughing up of cash for the divine coffers of the State. Ye sinners, repent and lock your doors.

Deborah Lilly, Mullumimby


2 responses to “Mullumbimby residents, lock your doors”

  1. Juan Cavero says:

    Ha, ha, ha; great, loved it!

  2. Rachel says:

    It’s nice that you can make a joke about it. However it doesn’t change the fact that no laws were broken, and there were no victims. I doubt the Parlimant has actually *passed a law* to this effect. Police make up laws all the time. What we have here is blatant piracy – someone wandering around extorting money from people in THEIR OWN COMMUNITY that have a hard enough time feeding their children and paying rent. It’s criminal. In a more fiery, vigiliant community, if something like this happened the public servants involved would be unceremoniously marched out of town and never allowed back. Mullum is renowned for being very relaxed and accepting however. There is hope. A community group known as Aussie Speeding Fines provide a book and lifelong email support for defending against unlawful infringement notices of every kind . They’ve been at it for almost a decade and their testimonials of success are many, many pages long. I have successfully had speeding and council infringement dismissed using tools they teach. This is almost entirely through writing the correct kind of letter.

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