Rest not, ye gentle citizens of Mullumbimby! Beware the uniformed zealot patrolling our streets for deviously unrestrained unlocked car doors or criminally left-open windows. Thou shalt not do such a relaxed thing under pain of punishment. God-the-policeman will bust thee and rob thee of $104 for each offence and many more if thou readest not p6 of Byron Shire Echo of 8th April, 2015, vouchsafing these commandments to thine heart.
Heed ye, oh Mullumites, thou North Coasters must prepare for thy death; the death of free choice. The highwayman cometh! This Sodom and Gomorrah laid-back lifestyle incurreth wrathful retribution of fire and brimstone, and demandeth the coughing up of cash for the divine coffers of the State. Ye sinners, repent and lock your doors.
Deborah Lilly, Mullumimby