Now’s your chance to introduce little comedy fans to Australia’s most visually compelling comedian in his natural habitat, onstage, performing for the pure joy of it – for kids. Noodlenut sees Frank use his formidable talents to entertain the world’s most challenging audience: kids! You’d have to be nuts to do it. And Frank is.
My favourite dance move is the… restrained yet somewhat enigmatic shuffle from foot to foot.
The song I like to play when no-one is listening is… I’m Not Ready to be a Princess from the Disney animation series Sophia the First.
My guilty secret is… I’m a fingernail chewer and it’s particularly antisocial in my case ’cause I don’t restrict it to my own fingernails.
When I was a kid I thought… being a spider monkey was a career option.
My mother always said… ‘Go outside if you’re going to fight’.
My perfect day involves… Body surfing. It’s a bit macabre and don’t ask me where I get the bodies.
The best thing about me is… I’m impressively humble. Probably the most humble person ever.
The worst thing about me is… I’m easily distract-
When I drive I… take my left-hand-drive American car and sit my dog in the front passenger seat so people think he is driving the car.
I worry about… keeping fit. I’ve given myself the goal of twenty push-ups. Not in row. Over the course of the year.
I am frightened of… death. And when people say they’re not I want to release an angry panther on them, just to see if they go ‘Yeah, whatever’.
One day I’d like to… eat a meat-filled pastry in a hot-air balloon but maybe that’s a bit pie-in-sky.
When I offend people I… usually try to dig my way out and make it worse until my wife says, ‘You have to stop speaking now’.
When you come to see me at Lismore Laughs… if you don’t enjoy it, you can ask the venue for your money back and it’s my personal guarantee that they will say, ‘Well, nobody said anything about that to us. No you can’t.’
Frank Woodley performs his show for kids Noodlenut at NORPA at Lismore City Hall Saturday 11 March, 12.30pm.
Running time 55 mins. Recommended for ages eight years and up. $22–30. Bookings norpa.org.au or 1300 066 772.