Matthew Lambourne, Mullumbimby.
Reports are emerging that the recent flood in the Marshalls Creek area has led to the emergence of a most peculiar disease. This disease, floodoutletus ridiculousus, and the closely related rockwallus removalus and riverine dredginitis, affect the critical thought facilities of victims causing them to fall prey to snake oil merchants offering supposedly quick and easy solutions to flooding issues in the local area.
Fortunately there is an easy remedy to these diseases – a daily dose of getagripus australiensis marketed as Commonsense, offers sure protection in almost all cases. A few individuals seem to miss out on this protection, and one unfortunate resident of the area has suffered from all three of these diseases for some 30 years, and his critical thought facilities are completely mangled. It seems his constitution has developed a strong resistance to Commonsense.
For most people though, a daily dose of Commonsense is all they need to avoid these snake oil merchants.
But studies in America have shown that the US version of getagripus australiensis – aka commonsense – vaccinations are linked to bouts of Hilarious Clintinitus and other mainstream pollie-diseases . As such the remedy has of course been widely rejected by anti-commonsense campaigners in the Northern Rivers.
Virulent and contagious. They have adapted to all contexts, spread to all corners of our wide brown land let alone the USA. Whatever your religion, God, Gaia or Global Warming the heavens please help us.