When I became a mother I remember thinking how much better I was going to be at the whole mothering racket than my own mother. My children would enjoy my endless devotion characterised by monogrammed cupcakes nestled in bespoke lunchboxes,... Read More →
I am not colouring-in. There, I said it. I don’t get this whole colouring-in craze. Have we all gone mad? Are we so sedated by life that’s all we’re left with. For fuck’s sake, learn to knit. Crochet around your... Read More →
There is a popular attitude towards homelessness that I find perplexing and idiotic. It comes directly from the Alan Jones school of compassion and centres on ‘homeless authenticity’, namely, that there are two types of homeless people. People who are... Read More →
Last week I realised I had a stalker. Sunday arvo, a NO CALLER ID call comes through. I pick it up. The voice says, ‘Hello, Mandy, it’s Rob!’ I didn’t have a clue who Rob was, but here’s a little... Read More →
Nasty prudes need to stop picking on breastfeeding mums. Breastfeeding in public is not embarrassing. Being embarrassed by breastfeeding in public: now that is embarrassing.
Driving past and seeing four cop cars outside your local high school is not good PR, either for people driving past or the people inside. It feels scary. Even I start getting the fear and I don’t even smoke pot. I start feeling like I’ve done something wrong.
Last week the NSW government, led by Mike Baird, passed new anti-protest legislation increasing penalties for protesters at mining and coal seam gas sites, and awarding police greater discretionary powers to use their ‘move on’ orders to disperse and disband... Read More →
Attention! Attention! Every few minutes my phone beeps. The tone tells me whether it’s a Facebook notification or a text message. If I’m playing hard to get, Mr Apple reminds me again by piercing my solitude with another little bleep.
No-one is impressed with Cardinal Pell. Not the average punter. Not most Catholics. Not Tim Minchin. Not the adult survivors of clerical abuse. Not Justice Peter McClellan. Not even the pope. And certainly not God. Being brought up Catholic I... Read More →
Nothing ruffles the feathers of a conventional meat-eating family more than when one of your kids decides to be vegan. And it’s not just the issue of separate meal preparation, or the death by salad. It’s the constant bombardment of vegan propaganda.
Today I started crying in the cat-food aisle at Woolies. Not just a little bit. But those big gulping sobs that make your face screw up all weird and snot come out.
By 4 February I’d achieved some of my bucket list items: (1) Taken family on overseas holiday Tick. (2) Elope on beach in Hawaii Tick. (3) Have a colonoscopy…
So I am about to go on a holiday. Hawaii. For a whole two weeks. I haven't gone away for that long for 18 years. There was a week in a caravan at Evans Head that was so exhausting it left me in hospital with cardiac arythimia.
There is a question that we used to ask ourselves to work out what was most important in life: If you had two minutes to get out of your house, what would you grab? Everyone used to say ‘the photo... Read More →
It was with some relief that I read of Rupert Murdoch and Jerry Hall’s engagement. At least now he’ll leave me alone.
The universe provides. That’s what hippies with moon calendars in their toilet and a copy of The Secret by their bed have always told me. To a small extent I agree, but the universe is not some sort of online... Read More →
From 23 December, residents and visitors to the Byron Shire now have to pay for the privilege of parking in a town that is already overpriced, under-serviced and over-utilised. Poor beloved Byron looks like she needs a good wipe down with a Chux cloth.
Fabulous, stylish, confident, middle-class and middle-aged, Bangalow is gone. Removed not by a cyclone, a bushfire or an act of god, but by an act of the RTA. You see, driving south there is no exit for Bangalow.
Mandy Nolan unleashes her inner doomsayer and finds it all like, so last century
A few weeks ago the World Health Organization delivered some cheery news – apparently bacon (along with ham and sausages) is carcinogenic. Can’t the WHO deliver good news for a change? Must they always be the Grinch that stole Christmas?
What’s with the elevation of the breadboard to the status of a plate? I have a hint for trendy restaurateurs who seek to hipsterfy their service with chunky artisanal-styled food presentation. The true purpose for a breadboard is in the... Read More →
A few years ago I had a vagina. It was fairly common. All women I knew had one. I was pretty happy with it, I think. Like most, mine was standard issue. I
Every single person has a cringe key. It’s the Achilles heel of annoyance. That one peculiar habit or nuance that brings you to your knees. It’s our little operational secret.
At no time in history have we had so many people on the planet. We’ve all had to squeeze in to make a little more room for each other.
Well, it looks like the writing is on the wall for me when it comes to dementia. A British study has revealed the link between having a twisted sense of humour and the onset of one of our most feared... Read More →