Three years ago I got myself an iPhone. At the time I thought I was buying a fancy telephone. What I didn’t realise was that I was in fact signing up for a life-management system. Not since the blow-dryer has a simple device filled me with such passionate dependence.

I love my iPhone. I am not alone. All of us with smart phones are smug in the knowledge that we are more than one step ahead of all those stupid people with dumb phones. I mean why would you use a telephone just to contact people? What is the point of a device if it’s not multifunctional?

It’s unbelievable that the technology that evolved from two cans connected with string should have reached its current form. Why, in the old days we were impressed by clock radios! Wow! A Clock and a Radio! Mindblowing!

My phone tells me what time it is, no matter where I am; it gives me directions; it holds my notes, my address book; reminds me of important dates; it takes photos, stores my photo albums; keeps me in constant texting contact with my besties all over the world; allows me to google restaurants, search satellites for weather reports, play a myriad of mindless games from paper tossing to fruit ninja, check out YouTube, and even manage my new diet with my Weight Watchers App. My phone is the ultimate personal assistant; in fact I don’t know anyone who could provide the same sort of 24-hour service without a huge pay cheque and an amphetamine habit.

Smart phones have changed how we operate. It’s not unusual to see two people out at lunch sitting in silence while they check their texts. My daughter was in the middle of blowing out her birthday candles for the landmark 13th year when she took a call mid-blow. Every time I do a gig there’s at least one person up the front who has not only left their phone on – they actually take the call and have a conversation in the middle of the show.

What has happened to us? Have we been sucked into some sort of smart-phone vortex where courtesy and everyday etiquette is no longer required? When someone stoops to return a text or takes a call mid-conversation you’re basically telling the other person, ‘sorry, someone more important than you, and someone much more interesting needs to contact me. I have no problem making you wait for my self-indulgence as you are merely a real person in front of me.’

Is it the person on the other end of the phone that we are desperate to talk to or is it the iPhone itself that is slowly conditioning us to never refuse its beckoning buzz? There is a certain tenderness in the way it asks us to sensually stroke its smooth and responsive face to access our information. Have you seen the way people clutch their phones? We’ve formed codependent relationships with our handsets. Some are so nervous about missing a beat that the phone is gripped all day. My daughter often falls asleep with her phone clutched to her breast.

Technology is supposed to make us stress free, but it’s quite the opposite. All technology does is provide us with constant interruption, making completing simple tasks suddenly complex. Human beings cannot multi-task. It’s simply not possible. Women may boast that they can but it’s actually neurologically impossible. The brain doesn’t work like that.

What we actually do when we attend to more than one activity at a time is switch task. People who switch task operate at a much less effective level than those who focus on completing one task at a time. In fact a study showed that stoned people actually operated at a higher level than switch-taskers.

The brain goes into stress when it’s forced to swing between activities. A simple activity which may take 30 seconds can take five times as long if performed while switch-tasking. Smart phones have created a switch-tasking revolution. We have become anxious drones enslaved to the requests and reminders of our beeping iFriends.

Did you know the average working person achieves no more than four minutes of work before being interrupted by an iPhone or an email? No wonder half the world’s on Xanax. I already have an iToddler; I don’t need any more brain fry. So, for the sake of human relationships, show your smart phone who is boss and turn it off in a National Call to Action on Sunday from 5am to 10am. The catchcry is Breakfast Before Browsing. Morning Poo Before Google.

Check these out before you log off: www.MoodOffDay.org and www.facebook.com/MoodoffDay.