| Mandy Nolan | Updated January 30, 2012 |
There are three little magic words that thrill every mother to the core. Back To School. Thank Christ they’ve gone. Yeah I love them. Yeah I’d lay down my life for them. I just don’t want them on my flipping couch watching Dr Phil moaning ‘there’s no foood’. To which I reply: ‘yes there is food’. Them: ‘Well, there’s nothing good to ea Read more »
There’s something strange about going back somewhere that you once knew as a child. Everything seems so much smaller, or stiller, and it’s always much less impressive. Places that seemed magical in childhood have their mundanity revealed in adulthood. That is perhaps the beauty of childhood, as infantile perception and lack of experience allows us to construct much more elaborate st Read more »
It’s a sad day when the thought of going on holidays causes a stress reaction. Packing for a family of seven is a project that requires army-like precision, at least a week lead-in time and two Valium. And that’s just to go somewhere for the weekend. Once upon a time when I was single, going away was simple. Ten minutes before I needed to leave the house I’d throw a bag on the Read more »
Last week our family enjoyed a beautiful sunny breakfast at Wategos. There’s nothing quite like a freshly cooked bacon-and-egg roll after a swim in the rolling waves of one of Australia’s most beautiful beaches, followed by a leisurely relax contemplating the majesty of our coastline. Until it was interrupted by a busload of 200 young people dressed in shorts and t-shirts. Read more »
There is nothing like constant rejection to make your mind snap. Last week my husband and I and our 2-year-old daughter hit the Pacific Highway to return home after our Blue Mountains Christmas. (This was our Exmas – the other four were distributed to appropriate ex-partners and family members.) After luxuriating in the surrounds of Mosman lunching with an old girlfriend, marvelling at he Read more »
The average human being farts 16 times a day, releasing an amazing half a litre of fart gas over a 24-hour period. We are fleshy gasbags – in fact, I’m surprised that the sustainable-energy mob haven’t cottoned on, harnessing the fart supply of a giardia sufferer. They could be chained to the house in pairs to power household energy requirements such as hot water and cooking. Read more »
Why is there such a hullabaloo about gay marriage? Surely straight people aren’t that bigoted that they can’t see the obvious boon to the institution of marriage that the gay community will give it? Pardon the pun, but the whole marriage thing needs a shot in the bum. Weddings and marriage have become tired. No wonder they never last. Look what the gay community did for Kylie Minogu Read more »
The amazing thing about the young generation is their ability to create fashion trends out of things that shock their parents. A decade ago men wore their pants so the top of their Calvin Klein undies were exposed. I mean if you’ve spent $40 on a pair of man briefs you want the world to know. At the time I noticed that very few men chose that particular fashion option to expose their pack Read more »
Next week I will be attending my brother’s wedding. When I first received the invitation I was excited. I started brainstorming what I’d wear, how much weight I’d lose before the big reveal at the family occasion (I put on 5 kilos!) and what gift I might buy him and his new wife. Read more »
I have a confession. I am a cross dresser. And if you’re thinking, I thought there was something manish about that opinionated foul mouthed attention-seeking tranny, you can forget it. No I’m not getting around in a pair of Y fronts and comfy slippers. I’m not packing socks or a codpiece. I couldn’t. There just wouldn’t be any room. My clothes are so tight at the m Read more »