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February 28, 2021

Police target meditating drivers

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Drivers who are 'off with the pixies' as a result of meditation are coming under the radar of local police.
Drivers who are ‘off with the pixies’ as a result of meditation are coming under the radar of local police.

Police will soon implement controversial new ‘drink/drive’ type laws aimed at northern NSW drivers who fail to sufficiently ground themselves following meditative practices.

A Tweed-Byron LAC police spokesperson told Echonetdaily, ‘statistics prove that failure to ground oneself following meditation or similar mind-altering practice is as dangerous as using a mobile phone while driving a vehicle’.

Three upcoming test cases in Nimbin and Mullumbimby will be critical in determining whether the plan will see further implementation.

There have already been 23 roadside arrests of meditator-drivers who failed to prove they were in full control of their vehicles owing to ‘insufficient grounding or making no effort to do so,’ the police spokesperson said.

If the test cases prove successful, NSW police aim to roll out the controversial new plans, dubbed ‘off with the fairies’, across NSW within 18 months.

A Sydney police officer seconded to the northern rivers to observe the test cases revealed that ‘hippy types, off in cloud cuckoo land, are a menace to themselves and other road users’.

Adding that he witnessed ‘a range of unacceptable behaviours during arrests from demonstrations of “excessive happiness”, “unusual levels of calm and peaceful responses” to “friendly and open-hearted” attempts to hug stressed police officers in a joyful and loving manner’.

Offenders will be offered the choice of an on-the-spot fine or attending a day course on techniques to ground oneself sufficiently to a light alpha state of consciousness.

For further information contact your inner self.


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21 COMMENTS

  1. At last! I hope as well as this innovative and inspired bit of policing, we can as a community stand against the vacant and blissed out holiday drivers in Byron. Maybe a monorail through Byron or a valet service into Byron? It could help with our employment levels and give the poor cops a break from all their road duties.
    I know I speak for many when I say this.

  2. yes, great idea, and also anyone caught listening to mantras whilst driving should be immediate licence suspension..make them walk, or fly, home.

  3. this government and its police cronies seem hell bent of perverting law to the extreme these days… very obviously as a means of raising yet more revenue… and now to the point of utter stupidity…

    as a maxim of law is innocent until proven guilty, the real question being posed here should be:

    are the police able to prove the drivers are in not full control of their vehicles owing to ‘insufficient grounding’?

    if not the offending officers should be charged with harrassment and abuse of office

    end of story

  4. You could have at least added that the Police Action is being sponsored by Big Pharma……..insipid creativity really.

  5. It’s about time there was a crack down. I am so sick of spaced out drivers reeking of essential oils, driving around in a totally placid and peaceful manner. It upsets the average driver who is just trying to get where they are going without the inconvenience of other people pacifying their progress. I have found however, that nothing grounds these hippy types better than flipping the bird or laying on the horn, so I am surprised that the police have taken this issue upon themselves. On the brighter side I guess it will provide much needed revenue raising potential to further some of the excellent governmental initiatives currently on the table.

  6. I realize that today is April Fool’s Day but I find this article rather demeaning. Obviously there are some false ideas in reference to practices such as yoga or meditation. As a yoga, meditation teacher/ professional Artist and Art teacher, I would like the chance to explain that deeper relaxation through meditation practices should never be blamed for poor driving or overt acts such as hugging a policeman on duty. Yoga is a spiritual as well as physical and mental practice that helps concentration and focus. Yoga and meditation pertain to an ethical way of leading one’s life. Yoga, Meditation should not be blamed for so called “spaced out alpha states”. They may certainly bring people to a calmer and more peaceful state by releasing stress and tension but hardly so spaced out that it affects their driving. Mindful Meditation in fact is something that makes people more aware of their surroundings and how they act and behave.
    I believe stress and tension makes people behave in far more dangerous ways. Anger and abuse is often a result of buried tensions that lead to alcohol, drug abuse and even violence as an escape. I have had people from all occupations including police and lawyers come to my classes, workshops and retreats and do not believe any of them have been pulled up after a class. Thank you

  7. You could have at least reversed the picture left/right – It took me about two minutes including keeping the speedo/tacho correct….

  8. You got me for a minute.
    I don’t bother driving any more, finding astral projection more reliable.
    Happy April etc..

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