Matthew Michaelis
Over the years I’ve been asked about the process of critique, I’ve had people curious as to how I sum up a dish, a restaurant or an experience in a few fleeting words.
Most people may think it, some people may speak it and a few folks are entrusted to judge it; in the case of Noah – movie critics and a load of home critics too.
These days everyone’s a critic. Every Joe and Mary thinks it can be their comment that leads a fellow consumer to righteousness and the way forward – and they’d be right. Just take a look around: Trip Advisor, Urban Spoon and the list goes on.
What the home critic may not realise though, is that sometimes you can’t really critique fairly based on a momentary experience.
Perhaps there should be a balance?
Anyhow, the reality is that the online world feeds on passing comments. Those writing the comments are directing some folk away from, or into, a business without perhaps thinking that, if their comment were actually taken seriously, it may add a destructive punch that can break those businesses.ranslating an experience of any kind can be a difficult task at times; for example I watched our own Russell Crowe in his latest role in Noah last night… Perhaps I should have been working instead; the story was not engrossing, the direction was dated at best and the subject matter was treated like a cross between Transformers and a Bible class.
See – that wasn’t hard, was it?
Probably, though I’m not sure, the consensus would have my opinions in its corner; however, what about the director and our very own Russ? Do you think they’d love this review? I dare say they wouldn’t.
The only parallel to a movie I can draw with critique is the metaphor of Noah’s tale. In the movie he’s about to make some really questionable decisions, no-one understood him ’cept perhaps his ‘Creator’ – this is sometimes how experience works. The smart critic keeps this in mind. Not everyone has the same understanding as a seasoned prophet like Noah. Okay, it’s time to leave this metaphor alone before I need an ark to rescue me!
Here’s my checklist if you’re a critique enthusiast.
No 1: Give credit where credit’s due
Don’t slam people and businesses unnecessarily.
They (or you) may be having a bad day. Unforeseen circumstances are abundant in the world of business so if you don’t know the place well, breathe and hold off seeking revenge online.
Next time you’re doing an online review, remember that sometimes you can black-mark a place that is, nine times out of ten, okay.
Often you have to look to your own mood first and check that you’re not acting-out. In my first eatery, we’d compete to turn nasty customers around; the first to do it received a bonus of $20. It nearly always worked. I’m not suggesting that a customer should have to turn their waiter around; I’m just counselling a little temperance.
Hold it ’til you have another try or have a look at the positive aspects, if there are none and the place is full of people then leave them to their own demise.
No 2: If it’s that bad don’t bother
I’ve had a firm policy throughout my years as a critic – if it’s that bad, I don’t write it. If I’m feeling generous I’ll let the owner know what went wrong through an anonymous email.
If I’m looking for a story, I’ll return on a different day/night and try it again. If still predominantly bad, I won’t waste my money or time again.
The standard review gets a few constructive comments that I feel may serve them if they were shared. Sometimes you won’t win either way – I’ve had the most generous reviews slammed by the business owners, simply because they don’t accept any honesty in regards to their business.
Remember that it’s fair and reasonable to expect people to be too close to their own baby. What’s provided by the internet is a sense of anonymity and access to instant revenge – use it humanely and, if you can, with balance, and remember your comments can have consequences for you as well.
No 3: Go to where the action is
Ask around if you’re not familiar with an area or cuisine. Locals provide an endless list of off-mainstream and favourite spots. That way you’ll have a better chance at starting off on the right foot, in an experience sense.
Leaving it up to the gods can lead us back to Noah and his questionable judgments.
For four decades The Echo has printed the stories some people loved, some people hated, and some pretended not to read. If you want us to keep telling the truth, the real truth, not the sugar-coated version. We’ll need your support to keep the presses rolling. 
