She’s probably one of the funniest people on the planet, and up until recently comedian Kitty Flanagan has been one of Australia’s best-kept secrets. Now a regular on The Project and selling out shows across the country, Flanagan is on fire. She comes to Byron this week to give a sneak preview performance of her brand-new show.
My mother always told me… not to eat while walking in the street; it looks common. And she’s right you know. Much better to always sit down and enjoy your food.
If I weren’t a comedian I would have been a great… dog trainer. Well maybe not a great one but certainly enthusiastic and well studied. None of that pack-leader ‘dominance’ rubbish. Just simple, easy ways to communicate with your dog. Ohhh, I love dogs. They’re the best.
I think that god is… causing a whole lot of trouble in this world.
Tony Abbott should… Stop talking? Step aside? Respect international law and human rights? All of the above? At the very least he should do a public-speaking course. A leader on the international stage needs to be able to speak intelligently and at pace. Abbott is so unworldly the way he struggles… to… put… a… sentence… together. Seriously, people? Who voted for this clown?
When it comes to doing my bit for the environment… I’m a bad person. I take really long showers. I love showers. I come up with so many ideas in the shower.
What annoys those closest to me the most about me is… that I always take over and want to do things my way. I’m so bossy; it’s quite unbearable.
Something I can’t do but would love to is… carpentry and cabinet making. I bloody love tools, just wish I could use them properly.
My favourite Sunday consists of… heavy rain so I can justify staying indoors to watch a box set of something.
Last time I went skinny dipping… oh funny, it’s very un-Byron of me but I don’t think I’ve ever been skinny dipping in my life. I am that uptight.
Getting older is… fine mentally, a little depressing physically.
People who text all the time… shit me to tears. Especially at a table. All phones off the table, people, it’s just bad manners.
When I’m flying I really hate it when… the cabin crew tell you to turn off your Kindle. I mean, come on! The only way my Kindle is going to interfere with the navigational equipment is if I take it into the cockpit and start battering things with it.
At school I realised… that constantly being a smartarse is really annoying. Got to know when to shut it down.
The surprising thing about the world is… the number of powerful people that seriously have no conscience or scruples.
If I could star in any film it would be… anything with Matt Damon in it. ’Cos he’s funny. And we’d have a love scene. But tasteful. No nudity of course.
When I give my acceptance speech at the Oscars I will start by thanking… my sister Penny. She’s so inspiring. She decided to be in the arts long before I did. She was the one bold enough to say I’m going to be a singer. And I’m going to be a writer. Eventually I thought, if she can do it, I can do it. I owe her.
What I like to give people when I’m on stage is… hard laughs and the feeling that we’re all like-minded folk, loving and hating the same stuff. I know I’ve done a good show when someone comes up to me afterwards and says, ‘Oh my god, you say exactly what I’m thinking!’
Byron Theatre, Community Centre, Thursday and Friday. Tickets 6685 6807.