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March 3, 2024

Women not always the victims in domestic violence

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It is interesting to see the demonisation and scurrilious attacks on Dr Tanveer Ahmed, a White Ribbon ambassador as he tries to add some balance to the issues of domestic violence in Australia.  The hatchet job done by the local ABC radio station (11/02/2015) in their interview with White Ribbon Australia about Mr Tanveer’s article published in The Australian, is symptomatic of the way this debate has created more problems than it solves.

Men continue to be portrayed as potentially violent creatures while women are portrayed as their victims. However the statistics show otherwise. In a 2009 article found here http://www.abc.net.au/news/2009-06-22/domestic-violence-women-abusers-on-the-rise/1327964 the writer says,

‘There has been a startling increase in the number of women who are the perpetrators of domestic violence.

New South Wales Bureau of Crime Statistics figures show that over the past eight years, the number of women charged with domestic abuse has rocketed by 159 per cent.’
The article also states

‘Preconceived ideas of gender roles have led a lot of people to believe it would be virtually impossible for a women to physically abuse a man.
But co-director of Men’s Rights Agency Sue Price says it is exactly this stereotype that leads to battered men hiding in shame, fearful of being ridiculed, or even prosecuted.
‘I’ve had SAS soldiers in tears because the wife is a black belt karate expert and yet they know that if they even try to restrain her he might be charged with assault and domestic violence,’ she said.
I would suggest the numbers are even higher seeing as many men are ashamed to admit to being hit by a woman or that they have been subjected to other forms of domestic violence where in many cases, children are involved as hapless witnesses.

And that is the point in all this, the children, particularly boys who are often left fatherless and alienated from their biological father in a society which increasingly undermines men’s positions within their families and the society in general.
It is time women admitted their role in creating situations where domestic violence occurs and stop trying to hide behind the victim perosna.
The tragedy of boys who are left emotionally rudderless because women find it expedient to destroy families on some capricious whim while creating potential for domestic violence must be more firmly addressed in a society which is rapidly producing boys who have no male models and are dominated by their crazy mothers.

M Mizzi, Byron Bay

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  1. I grew up in Marourbra Sydney in the 50’s – 70’s and my father never laid a hand on Mum yet she used to beat, scratch and whip both Dad and me when she went off the rails.
    I hate any form of domestic violence particularly parents beating children. I had the misfortune of attending a Catholic School and I still recall the daily floggings I received from the Brothers.
    It was nothing to get 12 cuts of the cane in my day and then come home and be flogged by mum for often no reason at all.
    Gotta love spaced out mums even back then.
    Mum was beaten herself as a child by her mum as pop was away at the War or working out west on farms after it and I am sure it led to her anger but when you are 8 years old and been wiped with a leather dogs lead you will never forget it.
    I have never hit my sons or their mother yet because I am a male I am assumed guilty.
    Stop assuming all men are evil and that all wives are victims for Gods sake.
    My experience is exactly the opposite.
    I still love my Mum and Dad and both have left this life. At her death bed she told me she feared death because she felt guilty. I never asked about what but I reckon beating the crap out of the old man and me was one of them.
    Peace and love eh??

  2. Interesting that since this letter was penned Tanveer Ahmed has been asked to relinquish his ambassadorial role with White Ribbon, and has now been sacked by The Australian for plagiarising the content of his controversial article on domestic violence. Not such scurrilous attacks perhaps?

  3. Mike – you come across like someone who has a major problem with women.

    Your other letter attacking feminism and blaming everything from obsession with technology, destruction of the family and male violence on women is an absurd conclusion.

    Perhaps you’d like to disclose which feminist authors you’ve read and provide quotes where they’ve specifically encouraged children to obsess with technology, or been hostile to family.


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