(An open letter to the General Manager, Byron Shire Council):
Dear Mr Gainger.
About 35 years ago I moved to this region and purchased a property in the hinterland.
There weren’t many trees around at that time. There was pasture and rolling hills.
I thought it was great. I loved it and thought it would always be always be like that.
Now, 35 years later there are lots of trees. The buggers are everywhere. They are huge. They are encroaching on my property.
They are eroding away edges of my land. I don’t know what to do. I am not allowed to cut them down, and if someone doesn’t do something my house will soon disappear into the wilderness.
So I have come up with a solution. A really good one.
I have decided, without consulting anyone, that what I need to have is a wall. A rock wall.
A really big one. All the way around my land.
That will fix the problem, don’t you think?
However, there is a problem. I don’t have any money. I know you don’t have much either since you spent it all on that other wall in Belongil but you see, now there is a precedent.
Your councillors (or some of them, five I think it was) set it for us. Wasn’t that kind of them?
So now you are welcome to build one at my place.
In fact that’s how we can solve all of our problems in Byron Shire. We can just build a bloody great wall around it. A huge rock wall. Good idea eh?
All our problems solved at once. No more annoying tourists from Queensland who can’t drive and take all our parking places. No more nasty tides and rising sea levels to mess up our day.
No more trees eating up peoples properties. It’s a win win for us all. Who would have thought.
I look forward to your reply.
Peter Leishman, Main Arm