19.8 C
Byron Shire
October 4, 2022

Misogyny the root of most evils

Latest News

Surf films make a splash at Byron Bay Film Festival

Surfing is a central part of Byron Bay’s identity and this year’s surf films are certain to bring the whole community together in a celebration of athleticism, wild seas and sheer joy in our exquisite environment.

Other News

Woman critically injured in fight; second woman charged with attempted murder – Tweed Heads

A woman remains in hospital in a critical condition and a second woman has been charged following an alleged stabbing at Tweed Heads yesterday.

Rain on the way…

Heavy rain is expected across much of the east coast of Australia over the coming week, but there is cautious optimism that the Northern Rivers won't cop the worst of the falls this time.

Firearm and drug offence charges laid after Coraki vehicle stop

NSW Police say a man has been charged after a firearm and prohibited drugs were seized during a vehicle stop yesterday.

Editorial – Break out the bubbly for Budget Estimates

Budget Estimates is truly one of the most revealing and best educational services that the NSW government offers. MPs from the opposition grill ministers and agency bosses without mercy, for hours. 

Lismore City Bowlo and all that jazz

What Lismore needs more of now is fun and joy and music and the Lismore Jazz Club’s popular monthly gigs are about to return to help make that happen.

Dreaming of Midsummer

Byron Ballet Company is currently preparing for one of the world’s most beloved ballets, A Midsummer Night’s Dream. This...

Stan Grant claims that racism is at the heart of the nation. I don’t deny this, however, misogyny is at the heart of most cultures and this, as always, is denied aggressively by men and women.

Isn’t it funny how a study about bike helmets can produce, almost instantly, a nation full of conscientious bike helmet wearers, except in Byron where freedom over safety laws is a local matter of choice.

Misognyny can be a choice that can, from a women’s perspective, easily be  overcome with some assertiveness training and lessons to combat aggressive denial and communication.

Why is it so simple to advocate for the safety of a bike rider’s head, be they male or female, yet not, the safety of a woman? A simple look at this would be to watch fathers with their children in a public playground.

From a sociological perspective, a lot of fathers don’t encourage sharing and turn taking. From father to son and even the adoring mother social lessons are ingrained and unconsciously taught. Who’s to blame for a misogynist society?

Is this a parenting issue or a reinforced father-to-son cultural carry on of inter-generational violence?

Misogyny, not simply men and women calling other women whores, sluts, and other demoralising names; it also includes, victim blaming, scapegoating, shaming, denying women rights to all emotional expression, possessiveness, overbearing jealousy, and the obvious physical violence and of course denying income, work choices, etc.

Why is it so easy, then, for the police to reinforce safety laws, such as riding with a bike helmet and not to emphatically connect with women who experience emotional, psychological and physical violence from their partners, ex partners, family members, neighbours and generally contemptuous community members who see women as a lesser ‘object’ to let off their steam at/on/about?

Could it be that Australia, like many  nations of different religions and cultures, has at the heart of it misogyny that also includes racism because how can we respect women and not respect different skin colours or vice versa?

Why respect women when anxiety can give us a feeling from insecurity to power by dominating and abusing someone else?

I have experienced misogynist abuse quite a lot since becoming a single mother living in lower socio-economic areas of the northern rivers.

These areas seem to have a very high incidence of drug and alcohol abuse and an increasing number of ‘reported’ domestic violence crimes. Of course, drugs in this region are an issue because there is the argument of ‘free choice’ and self governance.

That might be great for the poets, philosophers, writers, painters, yogis in the region, however I live next door to men and women with crippling drug and alcohol problems who persistently use misogynist abuse to intimidate and threaten me, example, ‘white inbred whore, slut, liar, ugly mole, fat pig’.

These people don’t sit around discovering new ways to express gratitude and compassion towards themselves and instead impinge on others’ freedom, isn’t it also a free choice to live without misogyny?

Because of their traumatic past and maladaptive coping strategies that rely more on drugs and alcohol than care for the self and assertiveness and compassion training. Could emotional intelligence, ethics, and improved problem solving strategies help women rise from the web of self-harm and harm towards others in the poor (not necessarily financial) problem solving cycle?

Misogyny is a problem in the government – a predominantly straight white boys club who got their free university education and now deny others that right – it’s also a growing problem on social media because the same types of people who yell out the abuse towards ordinary women and people like myself feel free and anonymous to do it online. Trolling in the social is evident and in cyberspace we hear about beautiful and intelligent women being belittled by whom? A beautiful, intelligent, loving being tapping away on their desk top or phone, feeling great about themself? Or a self-loathing, insecure, anxious person taking out their issues on successful people and putting down women so that they can feel better.

Misogyny needs to be addressed in the home; in the playground; in the place of worship; in the new arrivals lounge; on the dance floor; in the eyes of the beholder too blind to see a beautiful authentic being living their life not wanting to be callously and maliciously pulled down to the level of a psychopath; sociopath; an abuse victim who hasn’t done the work to become a survivor, and others who project out social ills onto and into the bodies of women.

Misogyny is invasion of privacy; stalking; name calling; blaming; physical violence etc and unless our relationships with the police and political heads change to become more human then calling women a ‘snitch’ because she believes her corporeality has been abused and called the police is misogynist and just as violent in silencing her than the perpetrator causing and instigating the violence.

People make up a community; why is it so hard to change the socially ingrained abuses towards women?

Why is international women’s day less important than Australia Day?

Why are women’s issues overlooked and placed lower on the hierarchy of compassion than other issues?

What are we afraid of? Are women scared of being called a dike because they stand up for their own human rights?

‘Homo-sociality’ is society as we experience it: from bombarding and assaulting us with photo -hopped images of magazine models, mainstream pornography, cosmetic surgery, and what makes women ‘be for’ men in hope to escape their isolation and gain social status besides a less than equal and adequate man.

Misogyny is reality yet needn’t be seen by women as an acceptable truth. A woman is not a whore simply because you decide to abuse her; a prostitute is just as special as a nun and ALL people need to question the socially accepted abuses that make up society.

Before you abuse a woman, name call, think and reflect what is it about you that needs to be addressed?

What is it within you that is feeling anxious about another’s being? Is it your own sexuality? Sexual inadequacy? Your religious misinterpretations? You’re feeling depressed? You hate yourself?  You feel inadequate? Question your own feelings before denying an other’s.

And if you just don’t care and can’t find the empathy nor compassion then the doctor offers at least five visits to a psychologist and perhaps you need to find out if you’re a sociopath or psychopath or have something else the psychologist’s manual can assist you with and give society some peace.

The change you want to be starts with you and as a community people can work together to change misogyny and ignorance.

Cat Anders, Lismore


Support The Echo

Keeping the community together and the community voice loud and clear is what The Echo is about. More than ever we need your help to keep this voice alive and thriving in the community.

Like all businesses we are struggling to keep food on the table of all our local and hard working journalists, artists, sales, delivery and drudges who keep the news coming out to you both in the newspaper and online. If you can spare a few dollars a week – or maybe more – we would appreciate all the support you are able to give to keep the voice of independent, local journalism alive.

1 COMMENT

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Just us, with the wild goat

Simon Haslam I don’t know if you can recall one of those luminous moments in your life when it just seemed to be you, perhaps...

Lambruk Pantry

Simon Haslam Lambruk Pantry is a family-owned local gourmet providore based in the heart of the Byron Shire. If you’re looking for something classy, that’s...

Oliver’s happy hens

‘If you can look after fifty chickens’, Oliver tells me, ‘you might as well look after 500.’ In between a steady stream of customers...

Alstonville takes out top tier of the Oceania Cup

The Oceania Cup delivered exciting and close football for the 19 teams that competed across last weekend at the Alstonville FC’s Crawford Park fields. The...