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March 20, 2023

The return of ms Stella

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Ms Stella
Ms Stella

When I met Ms Stella her name was still Barbara.

The return of Ms Stella

When I met Ms Stella her name was still Barbara. She was this intensely clever and attractive 20-something young woman who’d rolled into tow from Melboune, scored herself a primo job writing the entertainment pages of The Echo and was soon to join me on stage in the Queen Bs. Over three years we satirised, plagiarised and outraged as many people and venues as we could find. From the six-week residency doing Friday arvo downloads at The Rails to forgetting to bring a tent to Maleny Festival and having to sleep on our jackets on the grass, to feature shows at Cocomangas, where our doorman turned out to be none other than Puppetry of the Penis’s co creator David Friend. (He would later go on to blow us right out of the water. Embarrassing when the bouncer has a better career than you do.) It was a wonderful, free and evocative time in Byron, full of nudity, sanyassins and satire, and perhaps I remember it even more fondly because I was in my late twenties and the book of my life hadn’t been written yet. Barbara changed her name to Stella and got into documentary making. I kept getting pregnant. Stella left. I stayed. Eventually, after some stealthy moves I scored Stella’s job at The Echo as entertainment editor and the rest I guess is history. In the last few years Stell and I have reconnected comedically, with me performing at the comedy room she runs in Newport in Melbourne where she lives. So as part of her winter soujourn it only seems right that Ms Stella should jump up at some of my gigs. You can catch her supporting Mick Neven at the Big Gig at the Ballina RSL on Thursday, working at the Byron Services Club on Monday with Andy Saunders, and MC of the regular standup comedy open mic on Thursday 4 August at the Court House Hotel in Mullumbimby. (All shows start at 8pm.)


Enjoy the sharp wit of Ms Stella as she faces down the Finish This Sentence Challenge!

What the world needs now is… more predatory animals to eat predatory humans.

I can’t get no satifsfaction but I can… find my way around Byron without a GPS.

My greatest fear is… forgetting what my thumbs are for.

My greatest wish is… to forget I’d watched the Harry Potter films so I could watch them all again.

If I could wake up naked with… 1,000 red pandas.

What age has taught me is… people generally don’t much like old people.

The thing that gets me about God is… when the world is in a total mess, everyone will start calling him a woman.

Something no-one knows about me is… I’m taller than I look.

When I am in the kitchen I like to… stand up when I drink wine.

People always tell me… I’m smarter than I really am.

My mother always thought that I… was one of the other children.

The greatest lesson life has delivered… was delivered by a frenemy.

Being a mum has… made me an expert on everything.

When I am feeling happy I like to… imagine my eulogy.

The perfect day would be… the beach, in summer, winter and always.

If I went into politics… I’d no longer need a fact checker.

If I led a revolution, the first thing I’d do is… make sure all the lady soldiers had tampons.

When I go to sleep I… activate the camera traps.

When I grow up… stay tuned; we will know one day maybe.

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