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April 15, 2024

Mark Swivel is… Dad. Joke.

Latest News

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Mark Swivel
Mark Swivel

Lawyer. Micro-finance enthusiast. Writer. And now comedian. Is there nothing a dad can’t do?  Mark Swivel launches his new show Dad. Joke. at the Mullumbimby Ex-Services this Saturday.

Becoming a dad was… something I thought would stop one day (an endless process of humiliation. There’s no ointment for it.)

Dads should be able to… dress themselves, under supervision.

If I had another crack at anything it would be… my first 17 sexual experiences.

I really regret… most of the above. 

I think God… was watching. Until the sixth when she saw a pattern and changed the channel.

Getting dressed every morning I… see my father, the man I’ve spent 33 years trying not to be. 

I love… swimming through fields of jellyfish. Honestly. Try it.

I despair… at how ignorant, venal and self-righteous I am.

When I dance… people tend to give me lots of space and a towel.

My dream of being a… test cricketer was thwarted by poor coaching.

My mother always said… You’ll never be a test cricketer, ever.

If I could change one thing… I would have played 23 tests for Australia (well any test-playing nation that would have me).

When I am in IKEA… I can’t wait to get to the ice-cream part.

My advice should… be taken down to the river and drowned like an unwanted cat. Mr Spicer our neighbour used to do that and it’s stayed with me. As kitten murderers go he was an exceptionally nice man.  

Find out what moves the man who moved to Mullum. Mullumbimby Ex-Services Club, Saturday at 7.30pm.
Tix $10 at the door or online via www.trybooking.com/216331.

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