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September 27, 2021

Mandy Nolan’s Soap Box: Sunday bloody Sunday

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Couch-Sunday

Last week the Fair Work Commission ruled that Sunday and public-holiday penalty rates will be reduced for full-time and part-time workers in hospitality, retail and the fast-food industry. Well it’s about time! We already know these people are what have been dragging our country down. Some of these ‘crooks’ are earning as much as $25,000 a year!

It was about time the Turnbull government stood up to these sickos taking advantage of Sunday rates and bleeding our poor fast-food chains and corporations dry. Thank you, Malcolm. You really showed those dirty scumbag workers who’s boss. When they default on their mortgage, can’t pay their rent, feed their kids or put petrol in their car next week they will definitely see the error of their ways and no doubt rejoice in how their chipping in part of their income will really help boost the economy.

It’s good to see those corporate profits on the up. The shareholders will be delighted! When times are tough you all have to pull together. And clearly Malcolm has been up at night very late doing a lot of pulling. Mainly the swollen cocks of corporations, but with the Fair Work Commission ruling, Uncle Malcolm has given big business a very, very happy ending. Not so for the workers. They got a right rogering from Malcolm. It’s not every day you get to fuck 500,000 people all at once. That’s a fiscal gang bang.

For retail and hospitality sector workers, Sundays were paid at time and three-quarters. This is because Sunday was considered to be a day of rest. A family day. A sleep-in day. A wash-your-underpants day. A watch-the-footy day. A lie-on-the-couch-and-recover- from-Saturday-night’s-tequila-binge day. That’s what Sunday was. Some people even used Sunday to visit Jesus. Even when he wasn’t home.

So if you were going to work on Sunday, blame our unions. Those despicable people who safeguard the rights of the worker. Who have brought in leave entitlements and safety requirements so we don’t die at work. Those commie bastards who make sure the poorest workers in the country don’t perish in the coalmine of capitalism. It was back in 1947 that unions argued to the Arbitration Commission that people needed extra money for working outside normal hours.

Mr Turnbull has led the charge on destroying a hard-won right that Aussie workers have enjoyed for 70 years. That’s bloody un-Australian. And something only instigated by the privileged who have no understanding just how important those Sunday penalty rates were to people’s weekly budgets. Did you know that it’s estimated that nearly half a million of this country’s lowest-paid workers will lose up to $6,000 a year? When you’re on an income of under $30–35k a year that’s significant. Add it up. This sudden loss of a work condition we’ve enjoyed for seven decades will put $3 billion back in the coffers for business by taking it out of the pockets of those poor tired hard-working fuckers who give up their Sunday to earn a bit more dosh.

I mean, why shake down the corporate tree for unpaid tax when you can slip your hand neatly and quickly into the back pockets of the worker? Workers don’t have accountants, they’re not lawyered up. They’re easy targets. And the irony is a lot of them actually voted for Malcolm and his crazy band of poor-bashing bandits.

Instead of stealing our Sundays and enslaving Aussie families to the capitalist machine, why not crack down on tax-dodging corporations? Just seven of them alone owe us $2 billion. That means around 600 major corporations are yet to cough up. When over one-third of top Australian companies pay NO tax, it’s up to the checkout chicks, the baristas and the dishpigs of the country to chip in so we make the bottom line.

Thanks, Malcolm, you are our very own Reverse Robin Hood. You steal from the poor and give to the rich. I hope this new decision really does create more jobs. Namely one. Yours.


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12 COMMENTS

  1. Mandy,
    Our national anthem is Advance Australia Fair.
    We are talking about something where “Fair” is the first word.
    And it is not ‘Fair suck of the sauce bottle” of Kevin Rudd.
    We are talking about the law of Australia where morality and ethics keeps the rest of us on track.

  2. On ya Mandy! Sundays are really screwed up now! Not only do we have to hear all the lawn movers, leaf blowers, power saws and various other noisy bastard machines for weekend “renos” we have to put up with workers not getting penalties rates for working on what a used to be “sacred” day.

    Remember back in the old days if you died on a Sunday you went straight to hell for doing “servile” work! You should get extra pay for taking that chance!

    Poor Sundays, no longer the quiet, peaceful, and if you have to work; rewarding day. Now it’s just like every other day! There goes the church day, family day and everything else Mandy mentions day.

    Sad really….

  3. I hope you sent this to Malcolm’s nice $50,000,000 home in Point Piper as well as his email address? Those Liberal Party blokes sure know how to create jobs and growth. Jobs for the boys and growth for their wealth!

  4. OH YA MANDY !!! YOU TELL IT SO POETICALLY !
    YES I HOPE IT MAKES AT LEAST ONE MORE JOB AVAILABLE, MALCOLM TURNCOATS JOB.
    WITH HIS LEGACY OF THE ADANI COALMINE DESTROYING OF OUR REEF ON HIS WATCH.
    EVEN PAULINE WOULD BE BETTER.
    ALOHA NOAH

  5. If the casual staff that comes from the Back packers and English schools didn’t accept the flat rates paid in cash by most of the Cafes and shops in town I would be supportive. The Sunday and Public Holiday surcharges go into the owners tills not the staff pockets. Just ask the staff that work there!

  6. Lofty words, Len, in comment no.1, line 1 and 4. And for line 3 (the supposed ‘Rudd quote’), it would be advantageous if you take your advice of comment no. 2
    You seem to be a stranger to satirical writing which is not your own.

  7. Goodonya, Mandy.Right on the button! Pity some don’t see the irony in your article.
    What gets me is that the money squeezed from the part time worker is supposed to enable more workers, but the population only has a limited budget to spend, so surely having an extra worker here and there is not going to increase overall consumption by much (unless its more credit debt building up?) so we just end up with more underemployed (as opposed to unemployed) who have to struggle to prise a bare living from Centrelink, and the unemployment figures are made to appear to be lower.
    Come on Malcolm, Reverse Robin Hood that you are, we need to extract from the rich, not the struggling poor. You and your coalition mates should be made to live on the dole for a year before you can take a seat in parliament.

  8. I find it very hard to believe when business (large AND small) say that without penalty rates they would employee more staff. Rubbish, they’ll just pocket the extra profits

  9. Does this correspondent have any communication skills other than # and #. Surely he/she can make a point without profanity? Or did he/she miss out on English and ethics classes.

    I quite often agree with his/her points but shudder in the presence of his/her lack of language propriety.

  10. Hey Joe, spare us the usual LNP/IPA, shoot the messenger crap, just comment on the message.
    This is a class war being waged against the poor by the greediest LNP/IPA bastards that have ever formed a Govt in this country.
    And it’s women that are bearing the brunt of this latest assault, well over 50% of the worst paid corporate retail, hospitality and junk food employees are women.
    The greed obsessed 1% Cayman Island Turnbull Govt is screwing your mothers, your sisters and your wives!
    So what are you going to do about it Australia?

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