Mandy Nolan’s Soapbox: Touch my dick and I’ll make you a star

Film producer Harvey Weinstein was fired as co-chair of the Weinstein Company after allegations of decades of sexual abuse and harassment. Photo Photo by Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP

Film producer Harvey Weinstein was fired as co-chair of the Weinstein Company after allegations of decades of sexual abuse and harassment. Photo Photo by Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP

What’s the point of being a big Hollywood producer if you don’t get a little extra titty? Harvey Weinstein has been exposed for being a sexual predator, routinely assaulting and abusing women to the extent that it was such common knowledge it was an ‘in joke’. Now he’s lost his job and been made accountable and fellow predators such as Woody Allen have come out saying they feel’ ‘sad’ for those mixed up in the Weinstein controversy. That’s Allen expressing empathy for the women victims. That doesn’t last long, because Allen especially feels sad for Weinstein’s ‘messed-up life’. The messed-up life that saw him become co-chairman of the Weinstein company, one of the world’s most successful film production houses. Must have been so hard being powerful and rich. Making movies and making moves on women. The casting couch has long been a Hollywood cliche, but it turns out it’s less cliche and more fact. Hang on, shouldn’t beautiful women expect this? Isn’t this the cost of being considered desirable? Shouldn’t women be flattered? Or perhaps be glad they’re plain?

The Weinstein story is a reminder that women are still considered consumables. That we are perceived as being available for the amusement of men. That our bodies are for the consumption of others. Sexual assault is clearly so routine, like an agent’s fee. Weinstein regularly pulled out his penis to the horror of young women. What would make a man do that? Is frightening and appalling women with your sad cock part of the thrill? Did his brother Bob know? Lots of people obviously knew about the Weinstein willy, but Hollywood runs on rape culture. Just watch a movie and you are reminded of how disempowered even powerful women are. Have a look at how many women producers there are. How many women writing or directing films. And, of course, there’s a pay gap about as big as the thigh gap women are expected to have to make it on screen. Hollywood continues to harvest unrealistic images of women telling us the story of who women are. Women are beautiful. They are for us to look at. They aren’t supposed to be powerful or in control. When the cock is flopped out they are supposed to admire it, stroke it, or get a selfie with it. You’re not supposed to refuse the cock. Or speak out about it. If you speak out you never work. Harvey had built himself the perfect penis-flashing empire. It seems Hollywood created the same kind of sexual predator’s safety net as the Catholic church. But the world is changing. Finally Harvey has been made accountable. He must be in shock. Poor Harvey. Isn’t everyone in it for the pussy? I mean what’s the point of being rich and powerful if you can’t just pluck the fruit off the pussy tree? The American president got away with it. Probably still does. It’s become his signature handshake.

It’s not surprising that Woody Allen jumped in to defend Weinstein, as Weinstein was one of the first to step up and defend poor Woody when his adopted daughter Dylan Farrow accused him of sexually assaulting her when she was seven. Poor paedophile Woody. No-one wanted to believe Woody was a creep. We love his films. No-one wanted to believe Michael Jackson was a paedophile either. We like his music. We have always tolerated sexual predation in our creative geniuses. How many of us have bought Charlie Chaplin posters or marvelled at what an incredible artiste he was? We want to forget the ugly truth, that Charlie Chaplin was a sadistic tyrant who loved young girls. Very, very young girls. There never needed to be any proof that we still operate in a world that endorses male behaviour when Woody Allen – whose films sadly I love, but whom, as a comedian and writer, I have come to despise – says that ‘we have to be careful not to create a “witch hunt” atmosphere targeting men in the workplace’. Thank you, Woody. We forgot. Let’s use this as a reminder to defend the rights of men. A creepy old lech is brought to account and rather than using this as a timely reminder to protect the rights of women and to endorse their right to a safe workplace free of being touched, groped or having to look at old men’s cocks, Woody Allen is worried that other men and their behaviour might come under scrutiny. As it should. Behaviour like that does not exist in isolation. It’s cultural. Perhaps Weinstein could make a film about it. Woody could write it. It’s about how powerful men get away with abusing women. Silence of the Movieman.

11 responses to “Mandy Nolan’s Soapbox: Touch my dick and I’ll make you a star”

  1. jasper says:

    Call me a cynic, misanthrope, misogynist even, but I sense that so many of these women are just after a late pay day. Failed actresses, never-heard-of-before wannabes, and others who sense that a class action against Harvey could get them a hand-out to tide them over to the next old folks’ home.

    Already there are Harvey-themed T-shirts for sale around seedy shops in North Hollywood sporting slogans like ‘Who got fucked by Harvey’ and ‘I wasn’t fucked by Harvey – YET’ etc. Get the picture?

    It’s a tough old world in Hollywood, been there and smelled the greasepaint. Don’t fall for every story that comes from there.

  2. Lin Bell says:

    Brilliant – thanks Mandy – you’ve nailed it with Woody!

  3. Well put together, Mandy. (And jasper), forget the greasepaint because
    it has nix to do with woman-kind. Failed actresses? Indeed. Wonder
    what those who didn’t fail did to fend-the-fellow off. Think about [of such
    little import] waving wieners at the cut-price deli near the dill-pickle.

  4. Neville C Thompson says:

    It was said in the US Press last week that Mia Farrow coached her daughter to accuse Woody Allen of child molestation .
    Mandy isn’t shy of using someone else’s sex to sell her self this week to us , rather cheaply going by her language .

  5. Town planter says:

    Boys will be boys

  6. Shunt says:

    It seems the west is so unhappy with itself that it must make every opportunistic attack on anyone who represents the other team (especially those whom one does not even know).
    I don’t know Harvey and I don’t know gwenneth or any of the others names implicated in this story but it appears that the commentators are all correct and there is no need for any scrutiny of the facts.
    This then leads to a stone throwing contest and degrades the participants to sound bite garbage… The same as all our political representation at present.

  7. Deborah says:

    Brilliant writing as usual, Mandy. Marvellous satire … get a selfie with the flopped cock … the presidential handshake – you make the outrageous funny. Good on you for nailing the facts, ie “women are still considered consumables”; “sexual assault is clearly so routine, like an agent’s fee”; and “women (have a) right to a workplace free of being touched, groped or having to look at old men’s cocks”. Me three. And yes, its cultural. How do we get a cultural shift when porn has become a bigger industry than Hollywood and larger than all the revenues generated by rock and country music recordings? Perhaps we do need a very big witch hunt. Nine million European women were burned at the stake for simply being herbalists and midwives – we can’t burn all the rapists and sexual abusers because the climate wouldn’t be able to handle that – but they need a jolly good speaking to, and every women needs to speak out, to shame their oppressors. We must not stand for being degraded, diminished, and discriminated against just because they can. Enough!! If you’re not sure what constitutes sexual harassment, check

    • ferme says:

      Interesting link Deborah – and it’s harassment if I, as a victim, feel offended. Technically it has little to do with the behaviour so I guess it’s up to me to decide.

  8. Jean-Eric Mamet says:

    Men who do this suck and should be tormented.
    Women who get this done to them deserve respect.

    Women who perceive a threat where there is none are paranoid (understandably).
    Men who mean well but make a strange move are perceived as a threat.

    The inbetween parts are as clear as a cup of mud.

    Before things can get better, fear has to be dealt with.

    For fear to be dealt with, everyone needs to take responsibility for their part in it.

    How the fuck is that ever gonna happen? We are human. We lie, cheat and rob each other on a daily basis.

  9. Susie Forster says:

    Oh boy, I’m shocked by the defensive comments here, but I shouldn’t be. That’s why we’re still living in a patriarchy. The alternative culture shows it’s white socks. Thanks for shining your acerbic and witty woman beam on the subject Mandy.

  10. antinia staff says:

    Yea go Mandy. You nailed the creeps. All thorough history this has been happening. And it applies to so many men who keep it all secret.

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