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Byron Shire
May 14, 2021

Love it or hate it: Byron’s got an erection

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Power outage in Byron Shire

Power supply company Essential Energy says that approximately 1,780 homes and businesses were without supply this morning.

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Norman Appel, Mullumbimby

It seems the many objections to Byron’s new sculpture centre around its looking like a giant schwantz. Which got me thinking: is that such a bad thing?

In Bhutan phallic symbols are everywhere. They’re painted on houses, carved and installed in temples, and used to bless people. They are believed to ward off evil spirits and bring good luck. It sounds very Byron to me.

So, let’s not beat around the err… bush. Since Council has already pissed away $50K of our money on this project, rather than having it vaguely look like a giant stiffy, why not finish it to look right and proper like the real thing; complete with a hairy pair of topiary balls? Why not go all the way and make it into a fountain splashing its symbolic seed onto the windscreens of all the cars passing below?

We could encourage everyone to paint them on their houses too, à la Bhutan. After all, we don’t mind a bit of cultural appropriation around here.

This would also give the artist a chance to disprove my theory that true sculpture reached its zenith in Renaissance Italy and has been on a downhill trajectory ever since.

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