Tom Tabart, Drysdale
The historically appellated Benjamin Franklin MLC was dispatched to our environs on a quest to reconquer the hereditary heartland of the Page Dynasty for its rightful owners, The Nationals.
Cruel demographic, economic and environmental factors had eroded the hold of the agrarian socialists until they not only lost the seat, but worse, the Greens seized the throne.
Young Ben diligently moved to seize or arrange any photo opportunity on offer, only becoming invisible when his Sydney controllers committed one of their regular assaults on locals’ values.
Now with the reckoning day in sight Ben’s been armed with his ultimate weapon, a humongous barrel of pork.
No charity, cause, vested interest, vague idea or council cockup is safe from Ben bearing a wad of cash to splash over their voting supporters. No need to apply – it’s a random exercise.
So what do we get for this? Ben as the Nationals member for Ballina toeing the party line.