This week we elect either Bill Shorten or Scott Morrison as prime minister. How did we arrive at a political system where two parties dominate so exclusively? We’ve fought for gender diversity; can we have political diversity too? It’s too binary.
Choosing between Liberal and Labor used to mean something, but now it’s like the game I used to play with my kids in the car: ‘what would you rather?’ The objective of the game is to choose two really revolting unimaginable options like… would you rather give Clive Palmer a full-body massage or spend a year living with Pauline Hanson?
We have seen a re-emergence of the radical right – but where is the radical left? Why are white supremacists getting so much air space? Where are our radicalised commies?
I don’t really like any of the election promises or platforms of our major parties. Why can’t we elect a political party that gives us what we REALLY want? Firstly NO Adani. You can’t have the two major parties saying YES.
I’d like an ambitious commitment to move to 100 per cent renewables – by let’s say 2020.
A treaty. That’s not as the young girl in front of me at Bluesfest dancing to Yothu Yindi in front of me suggested when she asked her boyfriend if the song Treaty was about ‘something yummy that you eat’.
A treaty is recognising Indigenous peoples’ history and occupation of this land, the injustices they have endured, and creates legally binding responsibilities between the parties. Australia is the only Commonwealth country without a treaty. It’s embarrassing not having one.
Free education. It was so much better when it wasn’t a business. We’ve reached peak personal trainer. Maybe we need to cap barista numbers as well. And let’s take more refugees. You’d swear we took hundreds of thousands of refugees here the way politicians carry on about border protection. But we generally don’t take more than 20,000 per annum. Let’s a trial an open-border policy. I reckon we could up that number to like 100,000 and perhaps new Australians could be trained initially to work in aged care so that staffing ratios were 1:1 instead of 1:100. Imagine getting a cup of tea when you asked for it instead of six hours later! Even your racist old nanna might start to embrace multiculturalism. I can guarantee it would also improve the food.
No offshore detention. Although maybe we could keep offshore detention but only use it for paedophiles like George Pell and his mates.
Let’s make Climate Change Denial a crime. Restorative justice would be to resettle denialists in a beachfront house on one of the Pacific islands. Once the water starts coming into the lounge room see how long it takes to embrace science.
We need to scrap the stupid trade deals and tax concessions that make imported food and goods cheaper than the food and goods we have here. Local butter shouldn’t cost more than Danish butter. Economic localisation should be mandatory. Why are we moving stuff around the world when we already have it here?
And Centrelink – can we put the ‘human’ back into human services? Stop threatening single mums with dire poverty if they don’t comply? Give people benefits if they need them – especially young people.
Then there’s the NDIS: what a debacle. Could people with disabilities and lived experience of mental health illness stop having to front up every six months to prove they’re still affected? The billions the government saved and then blamed the people with disabilities for not spending was because the poor bastards couldn’t access it. It’s not a scheme, it’s a scam. Build an economic ramp so they can access their money and start funding the services that make their lives better.
Affordable housing is bullshit. Let’s go for a vigorous community housing scheme where housing actually STAYS affordable. But not ghettos. Community housing in Bellevue Hill and Wategos. Really nice ones.
Trains. Can we have them back to our regional areas please? But can they be solar?
Can we have more smaller hospitals in our communities and fewer of the giant Westfield Shopping Centre-styled ones?
Can we have services and support for the homeless?
Can we get rid of drug prohibition? Legalise everything. Tax it. Tax me.
Tax everyone more (especially corporations and fat cats) but give us what we need free of charge. Free childcare. Free healthcare. Free dental. Free love.
And can we be kind? Can we have a kindness revolution? Where people troll each other with love and compliments rather than hate speech?
Clearly this is my Australian political fantasy. Is it yours?