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Byron Shire
May 8, 2021

Joke at your expense

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Jai Wallace-Prabhu, Mullumbimby

On a beautiful Sunday in the not-too-distant past I was down at Tyagarah having a picnic and relaxing with my girlfriend when she jokingly said that I don’t have the ‘balls’ to be naked at the beach. 

Never shy of a fair challenge I took off my swim trunks and was greeted with giggles of defeat from her. Momentarily basking in my glory, I let the winter wind whistle over my body.  Within a few minutes two police officers were walking over to my umbrella. Before they arrived I pulled my shorts back on. Apologising and explaining my story to them, I was received with futile argument and belittled, made to feel stupid that I was not completely in the clothes-optional area and served with a $110 fine as 30 metres to my right beachgoers are naked, the officer saying, ‘It’s an expensive joke’.

With that punchline ringing in my ears, I couldn’t help but feel a ripple of totalitarian irony run down my spine. To think that at a well-known nudist beach there is a middl-aged to elderly aged man observing me laying on an uncrowded beach from the dunes/bushes (as he said he was), approaching me on the beach with a camera strapped to his chest and harassing me for my details. (That was the police officer not a pervert.*)

The real expensive joke is to know that our taxpayer dollars are going to pay these blokes to mill about in the dunes on a Sunday until someone pops a nipple on an uncrowded and well-known clothes-optional beach! 

Meanwhile any other day at Wategos you’ll see more nipples than at a Myocum dairy farm. 

I do realise that it is to prevent perverse behaviour and harassment. But it’s a well-known nudist beach, with no-one near me but my partner, who had her togs on. 

I guess I was just in the wrong place at the right place…?

*Disclaimer: If you are being harassed or notice perverse behaviour at the beach or anywhere do call the police.

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  1. Contest it. As has already been demonstrated the police will lose.
    They can hardly claim to be offended when they are meters from a clothing optional beach.

    If they keep losing they will quit hiding in the bushes.

    Be mindful when it’s not high tide.


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