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Mandy Nolan’s Soapbox: Middle-Aged Mummy Angry About Sugar Daddy

Mandy Nolan’s Soapbox: Middle-Aged Mummy Angry About Sugar Daddy

The whole Sugar Daddy thing makes me instantly diabetic. When did f-ing an old man for cash become a normalised thing? I know TAFE is boring, and going to uni can be a bit of a drag – it’s tough making rent by working in a bar – but really girls, is banging some old codger for cash the career you were after? The whole Sugar Daddy thing sets the feminist clock back pre Suffragette. It confirms our status as commodity; that we can be bought and sold. And guess what? The Sugar Daddy sets the fee. It makes me furious. I’m tempted to register my profile as an 18 year-old and catfish some creepy old fuck. I still dress like I’m 17, so it’s not that hard. Wait till I turn up and he meets a jaded 52 year- old woman who gives him a public dressing down and a kick in the balls. ‘What kind of weak prick has to groom little girls with cash for company? Are you that boring? Do real women find you that repulsive? Have the dignity to get a hooker, grandad. Or a nurse.’

Interesting men can generally meet interesting women without a profile on Sugar Daddy. I trawled the internet for commentary on the Sugar Daddy phenomenon, but all I found were these trite propaganda stories about how great it is.

Is it? I don’t believe it. I don’t believe the long-term psychological effect of handing over your body and your mind for the use of some creepy old rich dude does much for your self-esteem, except to confirm that your physicality is your only value. Sugar babies grow up you know – so what happens when you turn 30?

The thought of having to be nice to a boring old man just because he’s rich and he’s going to buy me toys, or take me for a spin in his boat, almost puts me in a coma. I’d rather be poor and conscious. I’ve always preferred poor men anyway, they have to dazzle with intellect or wit, not a fancy car. I just don’t get the attraction.

Sure, older men have been into younger girls since day dot, but what’s wrong with prostitution? It’s a very straightforward honest contract. It’s over in a few minutes, and there is a sense that the sex worker is in control of the transaction. Not with the Sugar Daddy situation. The power play in the Sugar Daddy relationship is evidenced in the name. Daddy is in charge of Baby. And Baby doesn’t just get to gratify grandpa – she has to hang around and be his toy. Jesus. She has to pretend like she really wants to ‘hang out’ with him. She has to go on trips with him. Have coffee with him. Basically she becomes his plaything. What a loser the dude is. Is there an award wage for sex-slavery? The whole Sugar Daddy thing perverts the father/daughter relationship. It makes my skin crawl.

Apparently it’s not all sexual. Some rich old men just want company. To me that means he can’t get it up. If he could, he’d want sex. When men pay for something, they expect something. You can get company at the bowling club, but you have to pay for hand-relief – especially if it’s the tender soft hands of a young girl, who not only has to get you off, she also has to pretend you’re interesting.

Stop wasting her time!

Listen you creepy old rich fucks, leave our young women alone. Stop offering them the rich daddy they never had. It’s pedophilic. When Marilyn Monroe used her baby-girl voice to sing My heart belongs to daddy the flaccid cocks of ageing patriarchs around the world stood to attention. Well, at least for a moment, before they assumed their usual ‘at ease’ trouser position.

This bizarre little song signposted a sexualised relationship between ‘daddy’s’ and ‘little girl’s’ suggesting that, at the end of the day, we’re not autonomous or independent, but in fact we are the possession of our fathers, or of ‘the Father’ – the Patriarch: Old rich men who really do think they can buy anything. And they want the naivety, and the fragility, of the young. An older woman wouldn’t tolerate their bullshit. What kind of old fool pays to hang out with a child? A Sugar Daddy, that’s who.

So, angry old women, are you coming online to catfish these fuckers with me? We’ve got some work to do.


17 responses to “Mandy Nolan’s Soapbox: Middle-Aged Mummy Angry About Sugar Daddy”

  1. Diana says:

    Ugh. Hands off my career. Sex work is real work. Sugar babies are sex workers too.

  2. Barrow says:

    Yes it is creepy that men buy the company
    Of young ladies .. however they have a choice do they not ?and what mandy!! 40 50 60 something
    Women don’t pray on vulnerable young teens
    And men in their 20s .. creepy all-around!!

  3. DonStar says:

    Mandy, love your passion. you care deeply. Our pain, our struggle for equality are of our generation and time. we were blessed with a unique cultural blip, meritocracy. It is now almost impossible to change class, to rise up. And while we vilify the poor as bogans, we entrench inequality. BTW ‘Slaves of New York’ a scary worthy read. again, do love your passion.

  4. Lucy says:

    This story is gross and you are a gross boomer. Sex work and being a sugar baby is the same thing, they do set their own fee and are in charge, you just have no idea what goes on. Don’t be so judgemental and narrow-minded. EW.

  5. Kath says:

    Hilarious angry post, Mandy!
    That image of you turning up, giving him a pubic dressing down and a kick in the balls, made me laugh so hard! Much better than cringing at the other images you described – yes, these men are truly pathetic!
    Every parent should make sure their daughters understand what sort of a transaction/contract this is – it’s certainly not a relationship between equals!
    Give me intellect or wit any day! Meanwhile, joining you in the catfish game would be such fun!
    Kathy.

  6. Sheri says:

    I would be more scared of dating a millennial than dating someone closer to my age. So many of those little shits are downright mean!
    I say the old farts get what they deserve. Boomers.

  7. Jan Hounslow says:

    Great article, Mandy. And I LOVED last weeks article. REALLY put things in perspective.

  8. Dave says:

    Giving someone (anyone) a kick in the balls and a public dressing can be considered a crime or assault in some jurisdictions. You can disagree with “sugar” but that doesn’t give you the right to assault someone verbally or physically

  9. You stirred the fur once again, Mandy.
    To be sure – the truth hurts.

  10. Janis Banks says:

    You’re sure on your soap box, Phew!!!

  11. Paul says:

    Fantastic, bracing stuff, Mandy. So many laughs. So many vivid put downs! So many great and wise lines eg “I’ve always preferred poor men anyway, they have to dazzle with intellect or wit, not a fancy car.”

    On the serious side, have always wondered why I felt so uneasy about this sort of transaction, now I’ve got a clearer handle.

  12. Ginga says:

    Um…. wow! &… I thought I get pissed off!
    You know what…
    I think many of us have had the opportunity.
    I met someone years ago who was about 10 years older than I was, I think..
    after 2 weeks he was offering to give me his very lovely catamaran if I ‘stayed’ with him for two years to help him with research write a book. Implications & strings.. ahem…I was in my own cabin… rooming.. friends.. that was the nature of the situation..
    In saying how much I love woody boats, & wanted a boat I could put colourful lanterns, beautiful flags all over to turn it into a big gypsy caravan on the ocean with a table out the front to sit & sip tea, he literally started looking for one, found it & was going to swap his swish cat for this great big woody single hull. I stood there with him in the dark while he was proudly showing me what he’d found for me. I ended up saying to this fella, ‘look, you know, that’s very nice of you but we only just met. You don’t know anything about me. Is there something going on I don’t know about?’
    Are you sick? Are you dying? What’s this all about? You know it’s a very nice offer because I had clearly expressed in definite terms, a sincere lack of interest in his 2 year plan… that was withdrawn & he was just giving me his boat.
    Thanks! Um… no… thank you! I can’t accept it.
    Very nice n’ all.. its really lovely of you.
    Truth is, he had so much confidence in himself, he believed I would change my mind. In good conscience, I knew I would not.
    Taking advantage of people’s loneliness is not cool. That’s what it is. People get lonely & they don’t know what to do with it or how to deal with it.

    I saw it yesterday here, pulling into a car park as a mixed age couple were pulling out.

    It happens… no.. we are not handbags.. or commodities. People choose that for themselves. It’s sad… it is many of the things you say. It comes from people thinking so little of themselves they don’t think they can do any better. As a woman.. well.. Ita Buttrose would be saying out on your lippy loves & make sure you’ve got the cigar ready! Eeeew!

    Much love &… can you say that word again for me please Mandy… how does it go…. F…K!
    Haaaa!

    I have to say I feel better. I have been sitting here railing like a banshee about the loggers in Victoria slaughtering all the hairy kooas!!!!
    You make me laugh so much Mandy..

    Blessings

  13. roger says:

    I suppose it’s okay for Macron to be married to someone 24 years older than him though? Luckily you’re not a sad old hypocrite – but you do a disservice to middle-aged women with your shoulder chip.

  14. Timothy buito says:

    Oddly enough I think I’d rather my teenage daughter went out with a 40 year old with a house amd job than a skanky 19 year old who cant make hos bed and smikes weed for fun.. which seems to be acceptable to many..

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