DEAR ROSE,
YOU SOUND PRETTY CHEERFUL NOW THAT YOU HAVE OBVIOUSLY RESOLVED YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH MARK AND GOT YOUR REVENGE BY SPENDING A FORTUNE ON THE ECHO AD (May 10).
AS THE JUNGLE GIANTS JUNE 9 SHOW IS NOW SOLD OUT, YOU MUST HAVE BOUGHT ALL THE $99.01 TICKETS WITH MARK’S CREDIT CARD. I GUESS MARK WILL BE SORE ABOUT THIS.
BUT THAT DOESN’T REALLY MATTER. YOU’RE SINGLE NOW AND SO AM I. I HAVE A WOKE FRACKING BUSINESS, A PINK TESLA, A SMALL HOUSE IN WATEGOS AND I’M A WEEKEND VEGAN. INSTEAD OF ONLINE DATING HASSLES, HOW ABOUT WE GET TOGETHER? MAYBE LEAVE IT FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS FIRST SO YOU’RE NOT IN A ‘REBOUND RELATIONSHIP?’
I’D LOVE TO MAKE YOU HAPPY!
IN SUPREME OPTIMISM, FROM RAPHAEL LEE CASS
PS. PLS CONTACT ME VIA THIS NEWSPAPER.
For four decades The Echo has printed the stories some people loved, some people hated, and some pretended not to read. If you want us to keep telling the truth, the real truth, not the sugar-coated version. We’ll need your support to keep the presses rolling. 
