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Byron Shire
October 4, 2023

Benefits of microplastic

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We’ve got to stop population growth on this planet.  If it’s true that microplastics are involved in lowering the sperm count we should gather all of the young men and boys together and have a ceremony and sprinkle them liberally with microplastic fairy dust. It could be a joyous, worldwide, sacred gathering.

Surely this would be loving, caring and very sensitively ethical?

As the Earth’s population diminishes, it may begin to repair itself and return to some of its former unpolluted glory.

I know, very simplistic, yes – it is just a fantasy. It’d be great with less contraceptive blister pack dust, condom dust, plastic flower dust, bread wrapper dust and car console dust, etc. Plastics have been involved in our lives ever since bakelite happened 70-odd years ago.

After our boys have their special, deeply-inhaling day, there’d be no more fear of pregnancies, people would be making love not war, all over the place – in the loo or behind the counter in the Mullum cafes while you ate your veggie burger.  And drank your green smoothie.

The STD clinics would be thrilled – they’d be making more money than Qantas, banks and the big millionaires. Yes I know, they’d be polluting too. The bloody quandary of it all – I need a glass of wine!

Hannah Grace , Ocean Shores


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1 COMMENT

  1. Of course, Ms Grace, the sterilisation program would be equally applied to your sons, yes? Can’t apply the treatment to all? Well now …

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