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June 18, 2024

Mandy Nolan’s Soapbox: Why are we so blasé about violent pornography?

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Violent pornography can be defined as ‘the portraying of violence or coercion that is juxtaposed with, or an integral part of, explicit sexual activities with an underlying theme of dominance.’ (Gruman, 2016)

Why is it a turn on to hurt us?

Recent intersectional studies have shown that online misogyny and violent pornography are contributors to a sharp rise in domestic violence. In NSW alone, police attend 500 incidents every day. If there were 500 threats or incidents at banks, or to the government, we would be in a state of emergency. Instead we stop, shake our heads, we listen to good men in government speak empty words, make a few promises, and move on. If you’ve ever lived through violence, it’s pretty well what your abuser does after hitting you.

At National Cabinet, one of the measures workshopped to address the abuse and killing of women, or as I prefer to call it ‘gender terrorism’, was age verification to stop kids accessing porn online.

Age verification is fraught with numerous privacy concerns, like who stores the data? Porn Hub? Service NSW? Age verification means ALL people accessing pornographic sites are age verified so that data has to go somewhere. Your porn passport will be a digital record of your kink.

No one asked WHY? Why are kids accessing violent pornography? And why is ANYONE watching it?

Violent pornography can be defined as ‘the portraying of violence or coercion that is juxtaposed with, or an integral part of, explicit sexual activities with an underlying theme of dominance.’ (Gruman, 2016).

Violent pornography depicts rape. It normalises choking. Slapping. Hitting. Spitting. A friend told me recently a guy she’d been with spat on her while they were having sex. Apparently like choking, this is becoming normal sexual play. I can’t think of any circumstance I’d like to be spat on. Spitting on someone is a sign of disgust. It’s degrading. It’s a sign that someone is worthless. But this is a sweet little spitty sex game? And we are all okay about this?

Why aren’t we asking why rapey-porn is so popular? Why choking seems to have become a pedestrian sexual activity? Violent pornography normalises hurting women. It creates a slave/master relationship where there is no consent. This isn’t BDSM, this is pornographised abuse and rape. This is online sexually explicit and wildly accessible instruction manuals on how to hurt women. How to degrade and devalue.

When your fantasy kink is to rape or simulate killing a woman you’re a candidate for actually hurting and killing real women.

I want to know why? We are in a digital age that most of us don’t have the sufficient tech or ethical skills to navigate. We face dystopian truth decay. We need to work this out.

As women become more powerful, as we step into leadership roles in our families, communities, workplaces and government, we are being raped and murdered in online pornography AND in our homes. We can’t stop it in our real world, if we don’t stop it in the digital one. The veil between our worlds is becoming thinner, and soon it will be indistinguishable.

Maybe it’s not age verification we need, but porn verification.

End violence. End violent pornography.

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  1. Yes appalling domestic violence of any nature..
    It so differs in many countries..for instance
    Look at what the Taliban do to its female citizens
    Or Iran or Saudi Arabia …one young female 18
    Beheaded for having the audacity to have been raped in iran ..yet you hear very little form the
    METOO movement or the so called caring Feminist
    The Greens absolutely cricket’s on this human rights abuse..i mean look at the UN.. have China at the forefront of it’s human rights panel or Saudi Arabia one of the heads of women’s rights…
    The Hypocrisy is astounding…

    • So because things are EVEN worse elsewhere in the world, western women should be grateful for their better lot and just shut up about their lot? This smacks of suggestions that elsewhere they could be facing bullets!

      Mmm thanks, very supportive. And fyi Barrow, feminists are appalled by the unequal treatment of women across the globe.

      • I see Lizardbreath..well knock me over with a feather duster …iam appalled at the domestic violence that occurs in the country.. laws are weak unfortunately..which leaves Women
        Mum’s in devastating positions…as for Feminist in Australia appalled by all this Violence…rarely do you see support for it’s
        Sister’s abroad in those Muslim countries..

        • Tell us what you suggest Barrow. You organise a March against the Taliban, advertise it and I’ll join you!

  2. Not much different to being blase about cuckolding men for the child support, and thinking it is “comedy”.

    Start with self-reflection

    • Just fyi I have never had a single $ child support.

      And also fyi, child support is what you pay when you make a child – to support them, their education, their food, their accomodation. Instead of accusing women of cuckolding – a term from 1100-1500 Ad, get with the program, support your kid, or better still, wear a condom.


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