I have always been afraid of male rage. Growing up with a violent, alcoholic dad I got to witness that rage first hand. I saw the legs of a chair go through a door, a fist in a wall, hands on my mother. I saw from a child’s view, the face that looked at me, earlier with love, suddenly twisted with rage. Red-faced, ugly, spitting rage. It’s the stuff of monsters. They’re not imagined, they are often family members. They’re unleashed usually by something small. Something imagined. Something inconsequential. And of course, there’s always alcohol. The kerosene on the flame, turning what was a small spark into a raging inferno. It’s scary. Unchecked male rage is terrifying. It feels dangerous. Like something bad is about to happen.
Yesterday I got to witness a man in his rage cage. It was a bloke in a ute. I don’t know why, but when I witness these random outbursts in public, it’s often a bloke in a ute. Apologies to the gentle men and women who use this as a vehicle of choice. It’s never just a ute. It’s a big, big ute. With four doors and giant wheels. One of those massive things that look like its owner – the car has been on steroids too. At the gym at 5am working on it’s chassis.
I’m at the airport carpark. And I will acknowledge, it’s one of the places where a person may feel the most disconnected from humanity. Paying more for your parking than your flight might have something to do with it. They’re strange and unsettling places. Liminal places – in between where you are going and where you have been, and home.
The soon to be angry dude was at the exit, having some issue at the boom gate. I don’t know what was happening, because fortunately I wasn’t in his car. I was just walking to my car. But I hear this explosion of rage, he screams ‘fuck off’ and then drives his big muscle bro machine through the boom. He literally blows it off its hinges. The barrier goes flying, and the ute dude speeds off, almost going head on into a concrete barrier just 10 metres in front of him.
It was intense. It felt dangerous. I’m walking next to a dad and his two small boys. The kids look on in amazement. It was quite the mantrum (that’s what I call men throwing tanties). I smile at the kids and comment, ‘I think that bloke needs some time in his room to think about his behaviour!’ They laugh. I hate little boys witnessing a man behaving that way. It’s not okay. It normalises a kind of violent rage. And to a woman and two children, it’s scary. I think it scares other men too.
I try to imagine what, realistically, could have set off that kind of behaviour, that would have justified that level of aggression. Maybe the intercom said, ‘I have your family hostage and if you aren’t home in ten minutes you’ll never see them again.’ That is justification to blast through a boom gate. Or he just got a call from a doctor telling him he had a rare blood cancer and he needed to get to a hospital immediately, or maybe he got his cock stuck in the seatbelt clip and he didn’t speed through in rage, but in a state of insane penis pain.
What is most likely, is that a bloke had to deal with a stupid system that wasn’t working properly. Maybe he had to wait. It’s frustrating, but it’s not worthy of that catastrophic level of rage. If you lose it at the boom gate, what’s it like for his family waiting at home? Does he have a little girl that loves him but quakes in fear when something goes wrong? Does she watch his face in fear and trepidation as the fury passes over like a sudden wild storm?
And let’s look at the consequences. There’s cameras everywhere. So he’s already caught. You can face criminal charges for property damage, and potentially federal airspace security violations because major airports sit on Commonwealth land, and damage to the metal barrier can soar to over $10,000. Angry dude could also be liable for operational losses and call out fees.
Whatever made that dude angry, his reaction just made things a whole lot worse.
I hope whatever happens, in the shitshow that is about to rain down on this bloke who I witnessed at his worst, that he gets some help with his rage. Because property damage is nothing, compared to the damage you can do to people.
Mandy Nolan’s column has appeared in The Echo for almost 25 years. She is a writer, comedian and artist, is the preselected Greens candidate for Ballina and was the Greens candidate at the past two federal elections.
For four decades The Echo has printed the stories some people loved, some people hated, and some pretended not to read. If you want us to keep telling the truth, the real truth, not the sugar-coated version. We’ll need your support to keep the presses rolling. 
