The pugnacious potato has done it again. Having unleashed his innumerate megalomania to destroy Malcolm Turnbull, Peter Dutton has now derailed Scott Morrison’s attempt to mend the fractured relationship with the Pacific.
For Scott John Morrison, the message for the election year should be simple: chill out. Dial down the belligerence, bluster, bravado and bullshit.
Scott Morrison, his office informs us, is taking a short break – off to the country for a bit of biking, boating and fishing. But not shooting; the image of our easy-going prime minister with a lethal weapon in his hands might send the wrong message.
It is tempting to dismiss 2018 as a dystopian fantasy – a nightmare devised by the feral muppets in Canberra for their own Grand Guignol production beginning in crazed belligerence and whimpering away in unsavoury farce.
The darkest hour, they say, is just before dawn. And it just may be that a glimmer of light is appearing in the five-year nightmare of the Abbott-Turnbull-Morrison dynasty.
So that was the parliamentary year that was, finishing in rancour, dysfunction and procrastination, a triumph of politics over policy. This was not a surprise, but the level of hyperbole and hysteria whipped up by the desperate prime minister and his colleagues finally went off the map.
Scott Morrison’s slogan of the week was 'congestion busting' – he was in favour of it. This was hardly surprising, as he had already christened his minister for Cities, Urban Infrastructure and Population, Alan Tudge, his minister for 'congestion business'.
Bill Shorten and Penny Wong got it right last week: ScoMo’s pre-Wentworth thought bubble about moving the Australian embassy to Jerusalem should be dead, buried and cremated.
Just because you’re paranoid, it doesn’t mean people don’t hate you. It sometimes seems that Malcolm Turnbull is being pursued by that old Al Capp character Joe Btfsplk, who brought bad luck to everyone near him.
The French playwright Jean Giradoux once said something to this effect: ‘If you can fake sincerity, you’ve got it made.’ However, even ProMo ScoMo apparently realised that in the circumstances, sincerity was an impossible dream…
Albert Einstein once said that insanity was repeating the same actions in the hope of producing a different result. But what would Einstein in know? He never worked in marketing.
Emergency warning: off the streets, go to the storm shelters immediately. It is too late to flee – save yourselves as best you can. We have, we have been reliably informed, been plunged into instability and chaos.
Last week, when I heard Morrison answer questions about the IPCC report warning of imminent disaster if climate change was not addressed, the reality dawned: our leader is channelling Joh Bjelke-Petersen.
Women across Australia will be breathing a sigh of relief at the PM's decision to stop taxing tampons, says Mungo. But many may be asking what took him – and the government – so long to do it.
That’s what happens when you make a captain’s pick, choose your mates to fill important jobs because… well, basically because they are your mates. We have often been told that Malcolm Turnbull didn’t really have mates – associates, contacts, acquaintances... Read More →
Under normal circumstances Australians do not spend much time thinking about aged care facilities. If we have to mention them, it is usually by way of euphemism: we talk of twilight homes, or God’s waiting room.
We still don’t know just who or what the new prime minister is, but he is determined to tell us whether we like it or not. Our manic leader is seldom lost for words and this is just as well as he appears chronically short of ideas.
When the world falls apart, when all those careful plans collapse in smouldering ruins, when the present seems desolate and the future seems hopeless, there is only one recourse: invoke the ghost of Robert Menzies.
So this is what Scott Morrison calls his new generation of leadership. It consists mainly of retreads from the previous ministry, with the absence of one of the very few the voters actually liked – Julie Bishop – and the resurrection of some we had thought we were well rid of.
In the end Malcolm Bligh Turnbull left the office just as he managed it – in appeasement, denial, dithering, procrastination, bluster, bravado, resentment and eventual capitulation.
Neg can be an abbreviation of either negative or negligible, both terms the vociferous critics from left and right have used to denigrate Malcolm Turnbull’s masterwork in progress.
So no changes to the parliament, no real effect on the government, no early election and no leadership spills. Malcolm Turnbull and Bill Shorten can forget their immediate concerns and go back to what they do best – abusing each other.
At last the fateful day is looming – the interminable campaign for the five by elections no-one wanted (except, of course, the media) is finally coming to a climax. Or, in the case of at least two of them, an anti-climax.
Just when you might have thought you were getting a grip on the tin full of worms masquerading as the government’s energy policy, along comes yet another authoritative report.
Scott Morrison has inched forward to another interminable episode of tweaking the tax. This time it’s the scales of the returns the states get from the commonwealth’s GST, but, as always, do not hold your breath.