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Mandy Nolan’s Soapbox: Welcome to the State of Denial

Liar Liar, Flat Earth Plyer

The other day it occurred to me that climate change denial had something to teach me. Not about climate change – I know that’s real, because I’m not stupid. What is incredibly clever about this very dumb cohort, is not what they believe, but the narrative devices they have developed to curate their belief. I mean, to spread something that dumb and have so many people believe it? That’s good marketing! It’s post-modern propaganda. It’s our Fossil-Fuel Pravda.

The transformation of Gore’s Inconvenient Truth into social media memes that tell us the world is getting colder, that scientists don’t agree, that climate changes due to CO2 are normal. And my favourite rationale for denying coastal sea rise; ‘if you have ice in a glass and it melts, the glass doesn’t overflow.’ Wow, that’s even dumber than a flat-Earther! Planet Earth is not a glass of water dickhead.

We’re in the era of belief. We’re regressing back to the time when they imprisoned people for saying the Earth revolved around the sun. It’s a post Galileo world. We have the freedom to believe what we want – regardless of whether or not it’s true. Truth is dead! How fabulous that you don’t have to believe things you don’t like. Honestly, it’s brilliant.

Climate change denialists have midwifed a fact-free world. I’m surprised gravity still works. Are there any gravity deniers out there? People who refuse to be limited by Newton’s Law that the force of gravity acting between any two objects is inversely proportional to the square of the separation distance between the object’s centres? I’d love to see them nail a reverse park on a cliff top without a camera. As one plummets to a rocky death, is there still time to adjust one’s beliefs? Although gravity denialists do have a few high profile companions, like the string theorists – but they believe gravity is a consequence of thermodynamics. That’s just because gravity is the only thing String Theory (The Theory of Everything) can’t explain. That, and climate change denialists. I imagine climate change denialists being connected by strings around the world; The physics of fuckwits. Newton also had a theory on fuckwits; For every fuckwit there is an equal and opposite fuckwit – they’re called politicians.

Denial is not the new black – predictably, it’s an old white man. A bunch of very, very rich, old white men who know a fossil-fuel free world that embraces new technologies will also create new systems which share resources across communities rather than emulate the top down approach that has been so effective for that small group of raging capitalists who control the world’s wealth. Yes, those 8 men who have the same wealth as 3.6 billion people. They don’t just suffer from climate change denial. They have humanity denial as well.

But let’s get back to this denial thing. Because if you can deny the hard indisputable science, you could in theory deny speeding fines.

I tried this. I am now officially a speeding fine denialist. I get lots of them. I believe it’s part of a giant Highway Patrol Conspiracy. They just fine us to get more funding for fast cars and tight pants. And the cameras? Bullshit! They’re Huawei monitoring devices. So I refused to pay. I sent a letter disputing the fine. I said ‘I don’t believe it. I am a speeding fine denialist.’ They said ‘We have you on camera.’ Like that was some sort of evidence of my midsummer misdemeanour. I said ‘I don’t believe in speeding cameras.’ They sent me a blurry picture of a blonde woman in a Honda. I said ‘That’s not me, I’m much better looking.’ I said ‘People have always gone fast. Speeding does not lead to death. Life leads to death. Fine me for living.’ I’m currently on a suspended licence. Which is fine, because I am now a licence denier. That means I don’t believe you need a licence to drive. I’m working on becoming a tax denier. They used to call them tax avoiders. Or corporations. See, they’re already doing it. Talk about being ahead of the curve!


14 responses to “Mandy Nolan’s Soapbox: Welcome to the State of Denial”

  1. Tim Shanasy says:

    But, can anyone deny, that there’s an awful lot of truth in those words above..?

    Comedians are so much smarter than politicians. Way too smart to think of running for politics.
    Maybe we should all only listen to comedians during election campaigns, then go and vote.

    There’s way too much funny business in politics, but nothing to laugh about.

  2. Miranda Mann says:

    Mandy, you are so brilliantly funny with your ‘take’ on the ‘goings on’ in our daily lives. Your columns should be on a worldwide reading platform. Keep up the good work!
    Kind regards
    Miranda

  3. Oh you had us laughing here, Mandy!
    Especially Newton’s theory on fuckwits! Hilarious, and oh so true!
    And about you being a license denier.
    My ex-husband was a total regulations-denier….rules are made for others, don’t apply to him!
    Lost his license (that he obviously didn’t believe in either) multiple times. The annoying thing about that was, as a shifty shift worker, he often roped me in to drive him to work or pick him up at awful times, grrr!
    Keep up the good words, Mandy!

  4. Wendy reid says:

    Love all of it we have to laugh at
    all these,fuckwits you are great Mandy and time goes too fast thank you Echo

  5. Anton says:

    Some people really have a hard time accepting that other people question the mainstream narrative as put forward by global warming catastrophists like the corporate sponsored Extinction Rebellion that the world is going to end in 12 years time. There is no such thing as ‘indisputable’ science, science is never settled , any scientist worth their salt knows that. Science is observation, this year I observed that the ski season started earlier and was also extended into October, now I am not saying the world is cooling but I am not seeing any warming trend here.
    Referring to people as denialists is like a religion saying you are a non believer, and that is what global warming alarmism has become , a religion. Religion is for those who can’t think.

    • J Lowe says:

      Google “David Attenborough climate change” and “IPCC report 2019”. I don’t think you’ll find any religious teachings.
      By the way, climate CHANGE is what is occurring, which does not consistently look like warming. Warming is the overall trend.
      Let us know what you find.
      Will you decide to cut the string?

      • Barrow says:

        The north pole will be ice -free in the summer by 2013 because of man made global warming

        ” Al Gore 2009 ” woops !

        In 1979 the national geographic , the new york
        Times , and the UN collectively predicted by the year 2000 we will be in a ice -age Woops !

        Look the earths temperatures, since records began has risen and fallen 1degree That’s a fact that no scientist can
        Even Question..that is hardly catastrophic!!

        These predictions and eco propaganda has been ongoing for 50 years or more with a success rate
        Close to zero ..

        Even our own taxpayer funded expert scientist
        Tim Flannery.. his predictions were a absolute
        Embarrassment .. any regrets?? No way
        He is back again with more of his bullshit
        Eco anxiety…this man has no shame ..

  6. We can deny that the deniers exist unless they have
    a ‘fuckwitted diploma’ for only so long before the
    the rest of us ‘implode’. My anger mode gets higher
    every day. Do I stitch my lips up? No bloody way…

  7. Blue says:

    Denigrating “old white men”. Ageist, racist and sexist in three words. Impressive.

  8. Anton, You are not seeing any warming trend here. Are you seeing any evidence of climate change around Australia at all, or is your head lodged firmly up your arse?

  9. Yes, Blue. There are ‘men’ & bloody men. Not every one
    of them is a mongrel.

  10. Barry says:

    Two things Mandy. Midsummer misdemeanour is a corker, and you mustn’t speed.

  11. sandy Holan says:

    oh Mandy…because YOU would never flip flop on your beliefs, would you?!!

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Some of The Echo’s editorial team: journalists Paul Bibby and Aslan Shand, editor Hans Lovejoy, photographer Jeff Dawson and Mandy Nolan

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