19.3 C
Byron Shire
August 4, 2021

Yes, Commissioner

Latest News

Youth arrested over Nimbin shooting

A 20-year-old has been charged over a shooting that took place in the middle of the day near the centre of Nimbin.

Other News

Are you a mycophile or a mycophobe?

Considering we have such a reputation for clean, green, environmentally responsible farming of nutrient rich food, it’s surprising that...

The right decision

Magenta Appel-Pye, Mullumbimby I would like to say ‘congratulations!’ to musician Lisa Hunt, but really, for what? It was a relief...

South East Queensland lockdown continues for another five days

Queensland Health has issued a statement that says the current lockdown in South East Queensland will continue for another five days as a precaution following new cases in the state.

Israel vs Palestine

Jenny Bush, Wilsons Creek When the point scoring dies down there’s no question that since the British colonial occupiers of Palestine...

It’s National Homelessness Week

In Australia there are over 116,000 people experiencing homelessness on any given night. Homelessness Week aims to raise awareness of the impact of homelessness on Australia via national and local community events


Sarah Smith, Byron Shire Finally, our premier is speaking a language that the business community of Sydney should comprehend – a...

Simon Alderton, Murwillumbah

We continue the riveting saga of 2020’s most celebrated man in the state… the NSW Cross Border Commissioner. In this week’s episode of Yes, Commissioner, our besieged hero receives an email from a disgruntled resident of Byron Bay.

Scene One

The secretary enters the Commissioner’s office wheeling a tray of fresh coffee and cake, while the great man himself works tirelessly on his computer.

Commissioner: Ahhh… secretary, any news for me today?

Secretary: Good morning Commissioner. You have one email.

Commissioner: An email! For moi? How exciting, who’s it from? (rubbing hands in eager anticipation) Is it from Gladys?

Sec: I’m afraid not Commissioner. It’s one of those not-so-nice letters. This one’s from a Fleur in Byron Bay.

Com: Oh dear… one of those! But, hang on, Byron Bay isn’t in my jurisdiction is it?

Sec: Shall we have a look Commissioner?

The Commissioner and his secretary get out a giant magnifying glass to study a map of NSW. Some moments later… 

Com: Ohh… I found it!

Com and Sec together: (gasping in shock) Byron Bay really is in NSW.

Com: Oh well, go on. What does she want?

Sec: Well, she says she needs a specialist, but can’t get to her nearest one because she hasn’t got a border exemption.

Com: Which border may that be?

Sec: Ummm? Shall we take a look?

The Commissioner and Secretary return to their map to determine which border is Fleur’s local.

Sec: Looks like Queensland, Commissioner.

Com: (laughing in relief) QUEENSLAND! Haha, not our problem. Forward it up to those banana bending hillbillies in Brisbane. Now, back to my game…

Sec: But, Commissioner, she also says that if you don’t take personal responsibility, she’ll go to the media.

Com: MEDIA! The hide of these people! Oh, what to do? What to do? Any suggestions secretary?

Sec: Well, my nephew once went to Byron Bay for schoolies and said it was full of drug fucked hippie degenerates.

Com: Ahhhh… this is why you get paid slightly more than the checkout chicks at Maccas. Call the vice squad immediately and have the place raided. And see what they can pin on this renegade, Fleur.

Support The Echo

Keeping the community together and the community voice loud and clear is what The Echo is about. More than ever we need your help to keep this voice alive and thriving in the community.

Like all businesses we are struggling to keep food on the table of all our local and hard working journalists, artists, sales, delivery and drudges who keep the news coming out to you both in the newspaper and online. If you can spare a few dollars a week – or maybe more – we would appreciate all the support you are able to give to keep the voice of independent, local journalism alive.


  1. Amusingly accurate. I have [read had] 2 Specialists and could not
    get to either one. Maybe it’s time N.S.W. put up a QLD Barrier.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

NSW Parliament off for a month, with full pay

With COVID-19 cases surging across Sydney and defence forces being deployed in the city, NSW Parliament put out a brief statement last week saying MPs will not sit in the month of August ‘owing to the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic in NSW’.

Markets could return to Byron’s Butler St Reserve

Byron’s weekly farmers’ market may return to its traditional home in Butler Street Reserve after detailed soil testing found that the park was less contaminated than was feared.

Push to create transitional accommodation at Lot 22

Should the Council-owned plot of land in Mullumbimby, known as Lot 22, be used for temporary accommodation for those at risk of homelessness, as a matter of urgency?

Sticking to facts

Roger Cotgreave, Byron Bay Thanks to The Echo for reporting scientific facts around the pandemic and not relying on social media ‘research’. Also a big thanks...