As the year draws to a close, the sense of reflection starts to hang in the rear of the mind. Whilst front of mind is hinting at what’s to come in the year ahead…
From what lens should I chose to reflect, and then from which to project?
Is it impact made, directly or indirectly? Is it the connections facilitated? Or is it the presence held?
The beginning
Starting the year with the mantra ‘live this year like it’s my last’, set up what some might think is a rationale for vapid decision-making. However, in truth it was around inhabiting a wholeness in each choice. A commitment to fully turn up in each situation through family relationships, opportunities, business, and other aspects.
This mantra turned into seven lines of text for the mobile cover screen shared with a dear friend. The third line being ‘embrace the learnings, life is short’.
The future
Now the current mantra heading into the new year is shaping up to be ‘live this life like it’s your last’.
I don’t think it’s a morbid preoccupation, but rather a reminder to completely be present in each choice, asking myself if I’m giving my all. Can I look back and feel that I held nothing back, and gave what was mine to give?
As a new yogi friend Sanjay said, it’s realising you’re not as important as you think you are, but know it’s important to be fully who you are.
Why contemplate this? Perhaps it’s because living as an entrepreneur in the nature tech space, there’s lots of defeats. The company is not as far along as I’d like, we’ve hit all the barriers possible in the Australian ecosystem. We’ve got national science organisations as competitors. There’s lack of capital in the market, with investors having a low-risk appetite and leaning towards traditional markets.
The startup hype promotes rapid success, the VC (venture capital) narrative is we invest in early-stage impact. But when it comes to its rapid success it’s more of a wrestle with maintaining determination and patience over time. Then the VC asks if in that early-stage does it mean you’re running as a small business with no/low risk (very different to the US mindset). Meaning as a deep tech company, the journey has been long, and the drive for positive impact for nature wanes. Can we last the race, shifting our relationship with nature in the capitalist system to a positive one? Can we hold out until shaman economics arrive…?
A sense of frustration
There’s a sense of frustration that creeps in; the highs and lows of startup life start to take a toll. The sixth time of burnout leaves the adrenal system fatigued and patches in the beard start appearing. Perhaps this is why last year’s mantra comes to mind because it’s a value measurement tool of: did I give my all?
‘Yes, and then some’ is the answer. Was it enough? Yet to be seen I guess, but it’s a opportunity to check on intent when reflecting, or does it even matter?
In this way, this time of year, and being in Byron helps me to ponder these things. What did the counter culture say, ‘turn up and tune out?’. Respite in the shire lets me start to wriggle my toes in the sand, squelch in mud in the Brunswick River, and feel the rush of waves over my skin at Wategos. Replenishing body, mind, and the other thing which jiggles around… spirit, perhaps we’ll call it.
I’m open
I don’t know what the year ahead holds entirely, but I know I’m open to what wants to happen, and will keep on living this life like it’s my last. However, the drive to still have impact for nature persists.
So, I’ll take on the learnings and insights gained from the entrepreneur life (akin to a kind of yogi journey). Meaning keep on playing the role, yet hoping others continue to play theirs also; across community, government, capital and industry – for the benefit of nature and at scale. Let’s hope.
For four decades The Echo has printed the stories some people loved, some people hated, and some pretended not to read. If you want us to keep telling the truth, the real truth, not the sugar-coated version. We’ll need your support to keep the presses rolling. 
