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June 19, 2026

Mandy Nolans Soapbox: The Wrath of the Unrootables

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Mandy Nolans Soapbox-The wrath of the unrootablest

Sick of women ruling the world? Tired of people saying you can’t rape chicks? Tired of feminists ruining your fun by insisting on things like an end to violence against women, consent and equity in the workplace and the world? Wish that we could go back to that time when even really dodgy dudes who had little secret serial-killing-on-the-side hobbies could still get their dicks sucked by their obedient wives?

Well creepy blokes with antisocial markers that should have you locked away FOREVER, your time is nigh.

There’s a new fad for radical white male misogynists called INCEL. (Of course you have to be hetero. It’s for crazy straight guys only.)

INCEL. It’s short for ‘Involuntary Celibates’. In other words, weird angry dudes who can’t get a root. In the past they used to go home and sulk. Now when they get home instead of cry wanking into the dark, they can go online and talk to other blokes who also can’t get a root and plot ways of killing people who can. It’s such a neat way of bonding!

Just when you thought hateful misogyny had really hit its peak, we have a whole new breed of scary whites. Sad little blokes watching too much porn and wondering why their lives aren’t like that. Why no-one wants to touch their pricks. I like to call them TUPs (Totally Unrootable Psychopaths).

According to sources they meet on Reddit in a group that boasts 40,000 members. I’m sure not everyone’s full of revenge fantasies plotting to kill… some have probably just dropped in to browse and check out how much fun organised misogyny and murder can be.

The unrootables yearn for a world where hot women love them. I guess not just hot women. Any women. They call themselves Beta men. I guess the joke is that they’re not Alpha, so that’s why they’re ‘Better’… or Betas.

Women don’t see men like this. We walk past them all the time. As fast as we can. Sure they’re smart. But they’re boring. And really, really, really creepy. Basically these weirdos want to punish women for not finding them attractive. I mean what woman isn’t attracted to a guy who murders people from the safety of his car? Who shoots people in the street before turning the gun on himself? They’re really putting the Sadist back into Supremacist.

When Alex Minassian turned his van onto a sidewalk in Toronto the other day killing 10 people he posted enthusiastically about the Incel Rebellion claiming, ‘We will overthrow all the Chads and Stacys! All hail Supreme Gentleman Elliot Roger.’

Elliot Rodger is the hero of the Incels. Back in 2014 the Californian 22-year-old killed six people on a shooting spree before killing himself inside his car. I guess he’d totally given up by that stage on ever getting laid. It’s a bit drastic. I mean he was only 22. There are people in long-term relationships who haven’t had a root in a decade and they’re not killing anyone. If Elliot had got rid of the desperate I’m-going-to-kill-someone glare he might have stood a chance.

Women don’t like being looked at like that. It’s all well and good to blame feminists, but the psycho vibe? You’ve got to take some responsibility for that yourself. Someone should have told Elliot to take up gardening, morris dancing. Maybe some volunteer work.

Before Elliot fell on his ‘sword’, so to speak, he uploaded a YouTube video titled Elliot Rodger’s Retribution in which he outlined his attack and his motives: punishing women for rejecting him and other men for being sexually active. That’s a very niche film. He also sent out a lengthy autobiographical manuscript that has since made it to the internet making My Twisted World: The Story of Elliot Roger something of a manifesto of hatred, bigotry and murder that underpins the INCEL ideology: to kill Chads and Stacys. Chads are basically great looking but dumb blokes who have success with women. And Stacys are the women who reject the Incels in favour of the Chads. A manifesto and a movement for blokes no-one wants to root? Murdering people who actually do have sex as some sort of revenge? For people who claim to be celibate, these dudes are seriously FUCKED UP.

Here’s a suggestion for how to meet someone so you don’t have to kill people in a silly I’ve-never-had-sex psychopathic sulk session: leave the chatroom and go and meet some real people. There’s probably a lonely girl who can’t get a root just waiting for you. I just hope she kills you first.



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