Byron Comedy Fest | Friday 17 May at 6.45pm | Saturday at 6pm | $40 tickets
Jeff Green is one of my favourite comics. I could listen to him talk for hours. He doesn’t tell jokes; he delivers stories, observations, insights. He unravels behaviour, he passes comment, he heckles life. His ideas are complex but delivered simply. He’s a natural raconteur, and it’s no surprise that he is such a lauded comic in the UK. In fact had Jeff not fallen in love with an Aussie girl and moved over here to the big brown land of obscurity then he’d probably be bigger than Russell Brand. Or Ricky. But that’s just speculation. The truth is, Jeff Green is very, very funny. It’s because he’s very very clever. He started out you know as a chemical engineer. Then things went a bit pear shaped. I asked Jeff to finish these sentences, to get a sneaky peek into that fabulous brain of his.
If I weren’t a comedian… I’d be the world’s unhappiest chemical engineer.
What I have learnt about life is… it ain’t fair. The sooner you accept that the happier you will be.
The secret to getting more out of life is to… accumulate enough worries that you can rarely sleep.
When I was a kid I thought… and that’s when the problems started.
The people I most want to impress… is thankfully a list that gets smaller every day.
When I am alone… I say ‘finally, no-one left to impress’.
One of the things I most like to do naked is… 10-pin bowling. It’s very niche.
If I could have dinner with anyone on the planet it would have to be… Margot Robbie.
My biggest personal challenge is… giving a f***!
My mother always said… Have you eaten?
The other kids at school… were so much funnier than me.
The biggest misconception about comedians… Is they can be funny about anything.
When I have a great gig… it makes everything worthwhile.
The things that make me laugh… are cruel, dark, and have a fart noise in there somewhere.
The album I love most that embarrasses me… John Denver’s Greatest Hits.
When I dance I like to… be listening to music.
What should we expect for your show at Byron Comedy Fest? This is the least interesting question on an otherwise cool list. Oops… sorry, Jeff.
Jeff Green joins Dan Willis and Bob Franklin for Best of Brits – two shows at Byron Comedy Fest – Friday 17 May at 6.45pm and Saturday at 6pm. Shows are $40 with tix on byroncomedyfest.com