16.5 C
Byron Shire
June 23, 2024

‘Real’ estate?

Latest News

Drones not detonation

The extraordinary popularity of the Vivid light shows in Sydney has exploded this year, but quietly, thanks to the...

Other News

Clarence at Wallum

Clarence Property like to accentuate their green credentials, however they are pressing ahead with their housing development on the...

Byron Council candidates jostle for position

It was the type of motion that comes up at Byron Council quite regularly – a broad, uncontroversial political statement that is unlikely to make a difference in the grand scheme of things. 

Teething problem

I think it’s really stupid and potentially dangerous that the concept of an absorption period of charging a lead...

Why have NSW Labor failed to hold their promised drug summit?

On budget eve the banner ‘Premier, you promised. Drug Summit Now’ was dropped across from NSW Parliament calling on NSW Labor to set a date for the long awaited NSW Drug Summit.

Labor announces its councillor ticket for Byron Shire

Labor councillor, Asren Pugh, and South Golden Beach local, Janet Swain will head the Byron Shire Labor team to contest the Byron Shire Council elections on September 14.

Greens Councillor Dr Nola Firth is running for council again

Dr Nola Firth has announced that she is again running for Tweed Shire Council in the upcoming 14 September...

So let’s say the first stage of a controversial residential development like the one at West Ballina has been completed. Today is open house and a prospective new home buyer asks the real estate agent: ‘Since this is actually a wetland basin, does it actually flood here?’ I wonder what his reply might be to help clinch the sale?

The only ‘honest’ one I could imagine would run like this: ‘Yes, but it shouldn’t flood “our” complex though, because “we think” we’ve raised it to a pretty “safe” level. Only the surrounding houses and streets “below” will cop it.

‘Sure, you may get marooned for a couple of weeks, but if necessary we should be able to get a helicopter in for a food drop, since the adjoining shops will also be inundated and out of action as well. Also, the relevant authorities are now “hopeful” that next time, the electricity supply won’t be cut off throughout West Ballina for the duration (14 days last time) and the internet access we need to advise our loved ones of our safety, won’t this time go down. You “should” be as safe as a bank!

‘Actually you’ll be able to watch the whole “show” in your deck chair from an elevated grandstand perspective, sipping on a cocktail in your bikini, waving to the television nightly news crew circling above. (I wouldn’t wear the teeny weeny yellow poker dot “number” though, you know what those television cameramen are like!)

‘It’ll be bigger than Ben Hur! There’ll be lifesavers in rubber duckies ferrying crying survivors across what was yesterday’s local road network; soldiers cramming the disabled and the elderly (in stretchers) with their stinking mud-coated canine pets into army camouflaged aqueduck-trucks, and the SES wading through those muddy waters, kicking in doors and gyprock walls to ensure no bodies are left floating upside down in their now “fishbowl homes”.

‘Another bonus, you won’t need to shell out for flood insurance either, (even if you were able to get it with the now exorbitant fees applicable to our postcode, regardless of your actual position), because man, if it actually “does” come into “your” backyard, they may as well delete Ballina from Google Maps anyway! (It’s all over!)

‘Otherwise though, this house is very nicely fitted out, don’t you think? So, would you like to sign here on the dotted line now, or watch and wait a few days, with those predicted “king” tides starting up tonight, and on top of all that heavy rain we’ve had recently?’

You know, I don’t think I would have made a lot of money in the real estate game myself!

Laurence Johnstone, West Ballina

Support The Echo

Keeping the community together and the community voice loud and clear is what The Echo is about. More than ever we need your help to keep this voice alive and thriving in the community.

Like all businesses we are struggling to keep food on the table of all our local and hard working journalists, artists, sales, delivery and drudges who keep the news coming out to you both in the newspaper and online. If you can spare a few dollars a week – or maybe more – we would appreciate all the support you are able to give to keep the voice of independent, local journalism alive.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Cars and other items stolen from Brunswick Heads

Local police are warning residents in the Byron Shire to be diligent in maintaining their home security after personal items and vehicles were stolen from Brunswick Heads yesterday.

Yes, peace is the solution

Both Duncan Shipley-Smith and John Scrivener yet again display the same responses that I talk about over, and over and over again. They do...

Teething problem

I think it’s really stupid and potentially dangerous that the concept of an absorption period of charging a lead acid battery has been transferred...

Rising Tide activists head to Justine Elliot’s office with kayaks

Today saw just over 40 people kayak from John Follent Park in Tweed Heads to Faux Park in South Tweed, before walking close to a one km with their kayaks to the Labor Member for Richmond's Office to demand an end to new fossil fuel projects.