Our local Byron Shire is facing an invasive species, the likes of which we have never seen before. This pest has increased in numbers over the past three years and is now so prolific that eradication seems impossible.
Imported from urban areas, but seemingly adopted with fervour by locals, they are characterised by aggressive behaviour, enough headlights to illuminate a sporting field, and a propensity to try to mate with other vehicles. Surely that’s the reason these beasts are always sitting on your arse!
What a fine selection of species we have: Rams, Raptors, Rangers, Tritons, Defenders, Patrols, Cherokees, Discoveries, Hiluxes… with more being released each year.
Collectively they are known as ‘Sports Utility Vehicles’, though I’m not sure what sport they play – perhaps murder ball? As utes for tradies they are hopeless, with a tray smaller than the boot of a P76.
They all have one thing in common; they are an extension of the owners’ egos.
So what if they are greenhouse polluters that have led to vehicle emissions increasing in Australia… not my problem.
Wrecking roads due to the weight of these dinosaurs… not my problem.
If you are involved in an accident with one of these behemoths you are more likely to be killed or seriously injured… not my problem.
It’s not just tradies who have these killing machines, it’s the Steiner mums and the cool-as man buns. Yes, we are so concerned about the environment – just as long as someone else curbs emissions.
So congratulations all you SUV 4WD owners. You are part of a very special club. If the 330 million of you worldwide were a country, you would be the seventh-biggest emitter on the planet.
Now that’s something to tell the kids.
For four decades The Echo has printed the stories some people loved, some people hated, and some pretended not to read. If you want us to keep telling the truth, the real truth, not the sugar-coated version. We’ll need your support to keep the presses rolling. 
