Harley Breen has blown away audiences from the sugarcane fringes of Queensland to the sweaty stages of the Edinburgh Fringe. Regularly headlining around Australia, Harley has won over a legion of fans with his accessible and relatable comedy.
Consistently unpredictable, Breen’s sets seamlessly move from side-splitting material about the foibles of being a new-age dad to dodgy tales of his beloved old Kingswood; all without missing a beat. A true professional, Breen always leaves the crowd wanting more.
Harley performed his seventh solo show Some Kind of Something at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival this year to sell-out crowds. Harley is also one of a select handful of comics chosen to tour around Australia as part of the Melbourne Comedy Festival Roadshow.
Harley got down with Seven with this revealing psychological quiz; the only thing we can work out is that he’s fricking funny.
As far as I am concerned beards are…
The best. When I see men without beards or smaller beards than mine I think, ‘you doing man wrong’. When I see a man with a bigger beard – well, I just make out with them.
God is…
in my humble, ignorant, uneducated opinion, a complete load of shit.
My mum always tells me to…
she mostly just tells me she loves me. She’s an excellent human. Love you. Mum.
Making lots of money is…
boring and futile.
Angry people should…
try some transcendental meditation or SHUT THE F@#K UP! YOU F@#KIN ANGRY MOTHER F@#CkERS!
The perfect massage…
‘Know what I mean? Know what I mean? Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink. Say no more’. If you don’t get this reference you are dead to me.
My dream holiday would involve…
My apartment. Door locked. Phone off. Endless episodes of Grand Designs and a massive bag of herbs (wink, wink; nudge, nudge).
If I were a dog I’d be…
an Irish wolfhound. They rule. They’re massive and they have beards. Brilliant!
If I weren’t a comedian I would be… dead
When I was a kid I thought the world… was made in 6,000 years. Jesus Christ!
I worry about…
as little as possible.
What I love most about women is the way…
that you can’t generalise about women.
When I’m driving I have a tendency to…
speed. I just lost my licence – thanks for bringing it up.
When they say leave them wanting more they mean…
leave work early.
The best gig of my life involves…
a focused audience and an open bar.
The worst gig of my life involves…
the opposite.
The world would be a better place if…
we could go back in time and change a lot of shit! Honestly, we’ve fucked it. Really. It’s fucked. Anyway… beer… weeeeeeeeeeee.
Tony Abbott should…
Oh look, I don’t know. He’s a fuckin’ muppet. With maybe the exception of the egomaniac narcissistic Kevin Rudd, the worst PM this country has ever seen. He is destructive and horrid. His cabinet is full of complete arseholes, but we are not measured by the men who lead us, rather by our own actions. Rise up. This time too will pass.
At Falls Festival I am going to…
do a gig, drink the rider, go to the next one… (smoke a joint). Harley Breen is one of the headline comics at Falls Festival Byron 30 December–3 Jan.
NYE Tickets are still available for locals.
Go to http://byron.fallsfestival.com/locals.
For four decades The Echo has printed the stories some people loved, some people hated, and some pretended not to read. If you want us to keep telling the truth, the real truth, not the sugar-coated version. We’ll need your support to keep the presses rolling. 
