It’s all you want for Christmas – lots of laughs, surprises and a seasonal singalong with the Prince of Polyester!
Bob Downe makes his triumphant return to the Brunswick Picture House for some Yuletide fun, along with his Barrel Girl Cindy Pastel and special guests. It’ll be a Christmas to remember as Bob opens his prezzies — who knows, he might even share them with the other children!
Bob, what’s so special about Xmas for you?
I find it particularly special when it’s bloody well OVER! For me and so many others, the fun starts escaping the fam after Boxing Day – and starts to peak with the Tropical Fruits Parade on the 29th followed by another blissful NYE at the Lismore Showgrounds! (How’s THAT for a segue plug?)
What do you like to have under your tree?
A nice bit of mulch. Preferably made with Haighs rum-and-raisin chocolate, and some Allen’s mint leaves. All fresh off the Pascal Tree!
What do you think is the perfect Xmas lunch?
Who cares about the food as long as there’s so much champers that you can’t remember what you ate? (But don’t tell Mum that – she starts prepping in July.)
Who would you invite to your perfect Xmas dinner?
Oscar Wilde (but not that little user Bosie), Julia Gillard (but not Kevin Rudd), Liza Minnelli (but not whomever she’s currently married to), Fergie (but NOT Prince Andrew), and the cast and crew of Matilda (but NO KIDS!)
Have you ever had a family Xmas go horribly wrong? What happened?
When Aunty Bev mistook the eggnog recipe and instead of nutmeg she put in cayenne pepper. It was a race to the toilet block at the Now Or Never Caravan Park, I can tell you!
Do you always Xmas in Murwillumbah? What’s a typical Xmas morning like for the Downe clan?
I’m always up at sparrow’s fart to try to open my presents first, until Mum orders me back to bed with the stern words, ‘Bob! It’s 4.30am!’ – then I toss and turn until it’s 8.30 and the fun begins. Wait a minute – that all stopped when I turned nine years old! These days I rock up in time for lunch, usually around 3pm, and Nana Downe says something Christmassy like, ‘So honoured your highness could drop by!’
Are you a fake-tree man or a real-tree man?
A bit of both. You can’t tell the difference these days anyway, with those Oswald Sealy plastic ones! So brilliant. I’ve commissioned them to do my next hairdo.
If you could dress the Myer Window what would it look like?
I’d do a punk one. With mannequins dressed as the Sex Pistols having a Xmas dinner food fight and spewing all up the window. Different!
Tell me what the Bob Downe Spirit of Xmas is all about?
Get there. Get presents. Get pissed. Get upset, then fight, then make up. Get it over with, basically!
What should we expect for your upcoming show at the Brunswick Picture House?
Me, my Xmas fairy Cindy Pastel, a visit from Santa, a few laughs, a singalong and all done and in the pub by 10. Merry bloody Christmas one and all!
Bob Downe’s Christmas Crack-Up! 3 Shows: Thursday–Saturday at 7pm. Tickets at brunswickpicturehouse.com. Adult $30; Concession $27.
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