Snatched

It’s not every day that this reviewer agrees with a movie’s rating out of 10 on IMDb, but the 2.2 for this vile little concoction is hard to argue with. The title’s nasty double entendre probably says it all – girls can be as crude as boys. Isn’t that impressive? In what is a voguish but stone-cold unfunny comedy, we have Amy Schumer doing her gross-is-chic shtick and a vaguely human Goldie Hawn as her mom being kidnapped while holidaying at a Caribbean resort.

Schumer’s Emily has just been dumped by her boyfriend and sacked from her job, while her mother is a paranoid agoraphobic divorcee. The less said about Jeffrey (Ike Barinholtz), the idiot brother who is hysterically dependent on his mumma, the better – he really is a poorly drawn character and Barinholtz’s performance is appropriately dreadful.

The script overall is a crock and one can only hope that Katie Dippold is the writer’s nom de plume. After the laborious set-up and abduction, the pair find themselves in the badlands of Colombia (how did they get there?), fleeing from a stereotypical Latino hood whose nephew Emily has killed with a shovel.

At one point they are running through the jungle with a mysterious bloke who helps them out for a while before being killed off, and then they are taken in by an indigenous tribe at an outpost where the mission doctor pulls a tapeworm from Emily’s throat. Implausible is one thing, but downright ridiculous is hard to cope with in a plot that is no more than a vehicle for Schumer to deliver routines.

Among all the squealy slapstick and blunt visual gags – Schumer bares her nipple and hoiks her leg onto the sink in a toilet to clean her vagina when on a date (yawn) – the guy who gets the most laughs is the harried State Department official in Washington (Bashir Salahuddin). The best bit is at the end when Billy Idol’s Dancing With Myself gets cranked up as accompaniment to the credits.