17.5 C
Byron Shire
May 9, 2021

Are you a Woman Like Us?

Latest News

Join Clarkes Beach paddle out this weekend to stop massive oil and gas field project

Hundreds of local surfers and water-lovers will paddle out at Clarke’s Beach over the weekend to protest against a massive oil and gas field proposed for the NSW coast.

Other News

Ballina Shire for the next 4 years: time to have your say

The Ballina Shire Council’s Draft Delivery Program and Operational Plan 2021/22 - 2024/25 will be on exhibition until the 28th of May with provisions for public feedback. 

Create the opportunity for everyone to follow their dreams

Local dance group Sprung!! is an integrated dance theatre that has built a community program that creates space for...

Byron Council to introduce car-free Sundays in the centre of town

Byron Council has taken a further step toward getting cars out of, and pedestrians into, the centre of Byron, by voting to introduce car-free Sundays.

Is hydrogen part of a sustainable energy future?

There’s a lot to like about hydrogen. For starters, it’s abundant. Hydrogen can store excess renewable power. When liquified, it’s more energy intense than fossil alternatives. In a fuel cell, it can generate electricity. When it’s burned, the only by-product is water.

Lismore Council set to increase fees, cut costs in a bid to balance budget

Lismore City Council is set to increase fees and charges and cut spending in an attempt to overcome a $19.5m operating deficit.

No air for Ben

Rhonda Ansiewicz, Federal Stop giving Franklin air time. Mayor Richardson, in his usual fashion, joins up with his mate Franklin...

Women Like Us

1. Are you able to completely switch off and pay no attention when your kids are wanting attention?

2. Are you unfit and unsatisfied with the way you look, but not unsatisfied enough to do anything about it?

3. Can you confuse your partner with what you actually want from day to day, never actually tell them, but be very cranky when they don’t deliver?

4. Do you hate the fact that women aren’t equal but still torture yourself with high shoes?

5. Do you only believe scientific reports when they work in your favour, ie two glasses of wine each night are excellent for gut health?

6. Do you get annoyed when your chubby friends lose weight and there’s one less person to look thinner than?

7. Do you forget people’s names and call them ‘darl’? Even family members?

8. Do you hide new boxes of shoes at the bottom of your wardrobe, and then wear them and when your husband asks if you are wearing new shoes you say ‘these? I’ve had them for AGES!’?

9. Do you come up with elaborate excuses to avoid canteen duty? Like, syphilis?

10. Do you say ‘I’m here for you anytime’ and then when your friend calls not pick up?

If you answer YES to more than three then you are definitely a Woman Like Us!

Catch one of our shows and feel like you’ve found your tribe – come and see Women Like Us at Uki Hall on Saturday or Byron Services Club on Monday 22 January at 8pm. Last two local shows for the year.

Women Like Us are all about Letting go

It’s the secret to getting that perfect work/life balance that those idiots who call themselves Life Coaches bleat on about. Mandy and Ellen believe that it’s not just about letting go, it’s about Letting Yourself Go. And these quickly deteriorating women can tell you how to free up hundreds of hours every year just by following their simple ten-point plan.

1. Sleep in your gym gear. It doubles as contraception. When you wake up you will be ready for the gym. And if you don’t feel like going, it will look like you’ve already been!

2. Make sure you over-eat. You know that feeling you get when you are full? Well the trick to over-eating is to push past that to that point where you feel a little bit sick. Pretty soon you’ll be wanting to eat more and more all the time. This will save heaps of time and money shopping because you won’t be tempted to try anything on because nothing will fit you.

3. Cherish your regrowth. Don’t rush to the hairdressers every time you see a few black roots. Let it reach an inch or two. Maybe three. Ballyage isn’t a trend started by hairdressers. It was started by Women Like Us. Hairdressers stole our look.

4. Tell people you are coming to their party or event and then don’t turn up. This really gets people talking about you. It helps make you look more important and more busy than they are.

5. Binge drink. If you can’t get out of going to a party, make sure you really over-drink and make a massive scene. The invitations will definitely dry up, giving you more time alone with NetFlix.

6. FaceTime important clients and annoying family members in the nude. It helps keen those annoying communications to a bare minimum.

7. Don’t wax your bikini line. Let it really grow out. That way, this summer at the beach, you will have way more space around your towel on the beach than everyone else.

8. Buy giant undies that pull right up under your boobs. When you are really hot, and you don’t want to wear a bra, your boobs can rest on the material of your undies instead of your skin, and you won’t feel half as sweaty. It’s all about comfort.

9. Only watch commercial TV reality shows. You will become so uninteresting that even your own family will leave you alone and you’ll be able to spend heaps of time relaxing. If they do dare to start a conversation, always turn it around to who you think the Bachelorette will choose, or what bathroom on The Block you like the best.

10. Only do housework if someone is coming over. Stop making your house look nice for your family. They don’t appreciate it. When was the last time you heard a teenager say ‘This floor is filthy!’ They don’t care. If you are having people over, leave it until the day they are coming so you panic and do the quick lick around that looks like you’ve done a good thorough clean, but it’s all pushed into corners.

For tickets go to www.womenlikeus.com.au

Support The Echo

Keeping the community together and the community voice loud and clear is what The Echo is about. More than ever we need your help to keep this voice alive and thriving in the community.

Like all businesses we are struggling to keep food on the table of all our local and hard working journalists, artists, sales, delivery and drudges who keep the news coming out to you both in the newspaper and online. If you can spare a few dollars a week – or maybe more – we would appreciate all the support you are able to give to keep the voice of independent, local journalism alive.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Man dead after boat capsizes near Yamba

Police say a man has died and a second has been taken to hospital after a boat capsized south of Yamba this morning.

Jonson Street bus shelter gone and an era ended

Byron Shire Council says that the wooden bus shelter on Jonson Street outside the Byron Visitors Centre is being removed today with all bus services operating from the new bus interchange on Butler Street in Byron Bay

Upside down river

Tim Harrington, Lennox Head Letter contributor Richard White (letters 21/4/21) quite correctly identifies the Richmond River as an ‘upside down river’ and nowhere is this more...

Ballina Dragons’ great results at Urunga

The Ballina Dragon Boat Racing Club is a group of paddling people from all walks of life who enjoy being out on the water having fun and keeping fit.