The Harvey Norman share price has bounced back from a recent dip after news that its executive chairman is still actively pursuing strategies to continue an unprecedented profit surge.
Sentiment on the retail giant’s stock had eased somewhat on fears that its founder, the energetic octogenarian billionaire Gerry Harvey, would not be able to repeat the almost superhuman feats that had kept shares trading at record highs for over two years.
An unnamed insider who spoke to The Echo early this morning said Harvey’s achievements were unprecedented: ‘First, Gerry engineered a fake virus that forced everyone to stay home and buy our home-office equipment and renovate their media rooms. Then he single-handedly set every Black Summer fire, sending sales for all divisions through the roof, before personally rain-seeding clouds to generate record-breaking floods and using his political connections to withhold government assistance until all household items were completely ruined.
A disgruntled employee speaks out
The disgruntled, possibly soon to be ex-employee said that Harvey had even used his own branded ‘Gerry’ can to firebomb the Mullum telco tower. ‘All the while he was ensuring that all mainstream media outlets and every single person with a social media account looked the wrong way.’
Conspiracy theorists and Harvey Norman shareholders both welcomed yesterday’s announcement by old mate and executive chairman Gerry, that a successful breeding program has been established for a super-locust that feeds exclusively on bedding, manchester, cushions, rugs and pillows.’
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