We need to talk about child sexual abuse. And most importantly we need to listen. And then we need to act. There’s a kind of social paralysis that exists around this subject. It’s uncomfortable. It’s upsetting. It’s triggering. But the silence – from the system through to the family, continues to hurt people long after the assault has finished.
The Australian Child Maltreatment Study found that 28.5% of Australians have experienced child sexual abuse. Girls at double the rate. Much of this abuse is perpetrated by someone the child knows. Someone in their family.
Intra-familial child sexual abuse features the abuser not as a stranger or family friend. But closer in the circle of trust. Someone whose job it is to protect that child. A father, or mother, uncle, aunt or grandfather. Women can also be abusers, but it is fathers, and step-fathers, who are most commonly convicted of intra-familial abuse.
It’s people that children love. It’s the ultimate betrayal of innocence. A previously happy child, who is traumatised and plunged into ‘darkness’. The darkness is betrayal. The darkness is pain. The darkness is fear. The darkness is keeping secrets. The darkness is silence. The darkness is finally speaking, and then not being believed. The darkness is so very cold. It’s where shame lives. After speaking, and not being believed. The child, or the adult, will not speak again.
And because of the abuse, and the silence, there are long-lasting, serious consequences that many victims endure throughout their entire adult life. It can impact a person’s ability to form trusting relationships. It can lead to a life of depression and anxiety, and more serious mental health conditions. It can lead to adverse outcomes like suicidality.
A quote from a victim survivor who was part of the Truth Project in the UK really hit home: ‘Because when I talk about it I can see it, feel it, hear it and taste it … I try to say the words. I feel dirty inside. I feel more dirty telling you about it because it hurts me inside, it really hurts.’
That’s on us. That’s on family who don’t support kids who speak up. The family who ostracises and blames the victim survivor. Who doesn’t believe them. That’s on the brutality of a legal system that retraumatises victim survivors. A legal system which through inaction, becomes an accomplice to the abuse.
Such A Resounding Silence is a French film that follows the stories of three women, one child, and a man, who experienced intra-familial child sexual abuse. It is profound. It centres on the victim survivors in the story – it is not gratuitous. It offers us a chance to listen to what it has been like for them. How their lives have been impacted by the abuse they experienced. How they are finding their resilience, their courage and their voice. It’s made with absolute compassion and gentleness. It is a documentary that waits for its subjects to be ready. It allows them space to feel and express, or not express, these vast feelings.
I have not experienced intra-familial child sexual abuse. But many many people I love have. This film really helped me navigate their story. It showed me how to show up. How to listen. How to love. And most importantly how to believe.
Such A Resounding Silence is screening at Brunswick Picture House on Monday.
Afterwards I will be hosting a conversation with Grace Tame, Anne Lambert, Melissa Holmes and Fay Jackson.
I really hope you can come. The film is an example of how documentaries can change lives. It is full of compassion and truth. Please come and sit with us. Be someone who will break the silence. Be someone who will listen. Someone who believes. More info at brunswickpicturehouse.com
For four decades The Echo has printed the stories some people loved, some people hated, and some pretended not to read. If you want us to keep telling the truth, the real truth, not the sugar-coated version. We’ll need your support to keep the presses rolling. 
