One of the weirdest things I’ve ever seen is… Akmal getting punched in the head by a woman in Rockhampton.
Every new year I… make a New Year resolution I’ll never see through.
What I wanted to stop doing last year was… making New Year resolutions.
Apparently my most annoying habit is… not getting questionnaires done on time.
I love it when… I complete questionnaires.
My mother always says… why put off today what you could have done two weeks ago!
The biggest disappointment for me was… wow, how long you got?
When I dance… I’m alone.
I am most comfortable when… I dance.
I would describe myself as… a human being.
My wife/partner would describe me as… her boyfriend.
My perfect day is… yet to happen.
My best gig involves… people laughing.
My worst gig involves… people not laughing.
I have nightmares about… not being able to get to sleep.
If I could choose the soundtrack for my own funeral the playlist would feature… Warren Zevon’s Keep Me In Your Heart
My greatest regret is… not doing something.
The world would be a better place if… we all just got along.
Tony Abbott is… the prime minister of Australia.
I am most passionate about… indifference.
If I could be a world leader for a day I’d… pull a sickie.
When I’m old I am going to… get discounted public transport!
When I wonder who I am… I’ll fear it’s the early onset of Alzheimer’s.
The wisest thing I’ve ever heard is… don’t believe everything you read.
Love is… all you need.
My greatest fear is… fear itself.
Next year I am going to… Guatemala!
Hear more of Joel Ozborn’s unique comedic world view – catch him at the Ballina RSL for the NYE Comedy Festival with Akmal, Greg Sullivan and Mandy Nolan.
With a two-course dinner and music by Lou Bradley.
Doors from 6.45pm.$64.90pp or table of ten (10): $62.90pp. Phone 6681 9557.