13.2 C
Byron Shire
June 20, 2024

Editorial – Dear diary

Latest News

Murwillumbah Hospital celebrates 120 years

A community campaign for a hospital in Murwillumbah led, in 1899, to two committees and a Board of Trustees being formed, and the selection of a 15-acre site. The hospital itself opened in May 1904.

Other News

Byron business perspectives in a tough winter 

Having traded in Byron Bay for 47 years, Skallyrags owner, Rob Bass, said he’s never seen a winter like this one.

Driven with soul

Under a different stage name Milo Green is an award-winning songwriter and musician who has supported iconic artists like Diesel, Dragon, Josh Pyke, Glen Shorrock (Little River Band) and more.

Koalas? Act now

The Forestry Corporation’s Planning Portal shows that forest compartments are on the chopping block before the Great Koala National...

Whian Whian public school kids are all in D-tension

The Whian Whian Public School whole school band, D-Tension, are preparing for their first gig of 2024 and it’s going to go off with a bang – or at least a flash of lantern light on Saturday in Lismore.

Iron Gates L&EC appeal hearing comes to an end:  decision reserved – Part I

The long-standing, controversial Iron Gates case came to an end in the Land & Environment Court (L&EC) last Friday after a two-week Hearing commencing at Evans Head on 3 June and finishing in the Court in Sydney on 14 June. 

Mullet fishers destroy dunes and native plants at Gawandii Beach, Shaws Bay

Locals and Tuckombil Landcare have expressed concerns over damage to the dunes at Gawandii Beach at Shaws Bay by fisher people who are accessing the beach for the mullet harvesting season. 

Dear diary suggestion by Hans Lovejoy, editor

As if I don’t have enough to deal with, my empathy coach just cancelled my appointments because someone in his family ‘just died unexpectedly’.

How ridiculous is that!

And now I am told that my ‘Don’t Be A Dickhead’ sessions will need to be shared with that idiot Nats leader, Michael McCormack, and online harasser and upskirter, Andrew Laming MP.

Yet empathy training is my proudest public relations spin moment – how good is learning how to disguise the aching gulf in your psyche where your humanity should reside?

Through empathy training, my entire team will now learn how to be a better psychopaths!

Oh diary, I’ve worked so, so hard to ensure no-one in my government loses their job. I mean, if one of my MPs went, my slim majority would be in trouble.

The best part of my hard work is the political gain I’ve made – no-one before me has been able to get away with as much as this. Defending the indefensible over incompetence and rorting taxpayer funds has never happened on this scale in Australia before. And we’re getting away with it!

I can’t stop smirking at the slack-jawed journos when a new debacle emerges… They can’t keep up! My good mate Donald really set the path for this type of governance.

I can’t possibly sack an MP for their alleged rape, I told Tracey Grimshaw. We just need to learn not to do it, I said. She didn’t even push back!

Some are saying I am putting my party/tribe before country. Others say I have a tin ear, a glass jaw…

But I just made Michaelia Cash the attorney-general!

Linda Reynolds now has Government Services, Anne Ruston is now minister for Women’s Safety, and Home Affairs minister is now Karen Andrews. 

I had all the blokes in stitches when Linda Reynolds accepted her post as Government Services minister. She called alleged rape victim Brittany a ‘lying cow’! How good is that?

With my good mate and fellow Pentecostal, Stuart Robert, in charge of the jobless (employment, workforce, skills), we’ll be all popping a bottle of 1820 Juglar Cuvee champagne as unemployment explodes and the social security system goes under.

How good is ending JobKeeper?

Stuart is the perfect man to throw a cracker at all those seagulls who flock around a bucket of chips.

I think I got away with latest porkie I told parliament, where I said I didn’t know about Brittany’s rape allegations at the time.

Also no-one seems to have noticed how I keep calling the girls by their first names, and the blokes by their last. It’s quite a trick!

Don’t all my cabinet reshuffles and putting ladies in a man’s job prove that I am listening????

Thankfully, Rupert Murdoch listens, and he accepted my Facebook apology after I lashed out at his Newscorp/Sky journo for asking me about losing control over my party.

Also, no-one seemed to notice that I knew a lot of detail about alleged sexual harassment within that media organisation, but knew nothing about what happened down my hallway.

How good are ya mates?

Support The Echo

Keeping the community together and the community voice loud and clear is what The Echo is about. More than ever we need your help to keep this voice alive and thriving in the community.

Like all businesses we are struggling to keep food on the table of all our local and hard working journalists, artists, sales, delivery and drudges who keep the news coming out to you both in the newspaper and online. If you can spare a few dollars a week – or maybe more – we would appreciate all the support you are able to give to keep the voice of independent, local journalism alive.


  1. Me thinks it is time he found a new market (after all, he has failed in plenty of others as well!).
    May it be soon…

  2. Well done 👍…could you write one on Covid-19 and their cosy relationship with big pharma or is this a bit too dangerous to put to print…I suspect so!

  3. Indeed it’s a ‘mad mad’ world. Pity there’s no psycho test for a Rights’ leadership before
    the oncoming ballot’s explosion – & by that I mean ‘each & every’ aspiring Liberal.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Iron Gates L&EC appeal hearing comes to an end:  decision reserved – Part I

The long-standing, controversial Iron Gates case came to an end in the Land & Environment Court (L&EC) last Friday after a two-week Hearing commencing at Evans Head on 3 June and finishing in the Court in Sydney on 14 June. 

Supporting women’s mental health in Ballina

Women are twice as likely to be diagnosed with depression or anxiety, and one in five women compared to one in eight men suffer from mental ill health or disorder.

Lismore’s Freedom of Entry Parade

Lismore is set to host a Freedom of Entry Parade by the 41st Battalion, a time-honoured tradition dating back to medieval times

Inequity underpins solar-battery rebates

Over 3.2 million Australian households now have solar systems, and NSW leads, with a million systems (rooftop, heated pool or hot water).