Growing positive mental health

Every September and October mental health comes into focus. World Suicide Prevention Day was on Tuesday, September 10, R U OK Day on Thursday, September 12 and then October will be Mental Health Month. 

Spring is a good time to check in regarding the mental wellbeing of ourselves and those around us. With 45 per cent of Australian’s experiencing mental illness at some time in their lives and 22 per cent of us affected at some point each year, it is clear that mental health is not something we can afford to ignore or remain silent about due to stigma.

Loneliness

One of the key issues affecting mental health is loneliness.

In 2023 Australia’s first State of the Nation Report on social connection collected responses from over 4,000 people, finding that nearly one in three of us experience moderate loneliness, with more than one in six of us reporting severe loneliness.

Loneliness, in the study was defined as a distressing feeling we get when we feel disconnected from other people and we desire more (or more satisfying) social relationships. Loneliness can be described as a natural hunger, but instead of for food, the hunger is for connection. We can think of loneliness as an inbuilt alarm system that alerts us when we running low on something we need to sustain us.

Risk factors

Loneliness is a serious risk factor for our health and wellbeing.

Lonely people are:

• Twice as likely to have chronic disease

• 4.6 times more likely to have depression

• 4.1 times more likely to experience social anxiety

As our wellbeing and psychosocial quality of life is very affected by being lonely, who is more likely to be lonely?

Creating connection

Young people, carers, people with poorly met financial needs, people in rural areas, people who live alone, people who have chronic disease and people who have poor mental health.

But the study also found that community misconceptions and stigma around loneliness prevents people from talking about it, and most importantly stops us from seeking out the connection we need. About a third of us feel ashamed when we feel lonely, almost half of us are too embarrassed to admit it to others so we hide it:

• People who are lonely are often perceived as having negative traits

• 50 per cent of people said they don’t want to be friends with a person who is lonely 

• 57 per cent said they wouldn’t like a person who is lonely

• One in four people think people who are lonely are less worthy

• Almost a third said that being lonely is a sign of weakness

So what can we do?

Well right now we are doing the first step which is talking about it. It seems we need to be talking more about it. It seems like a good idea to bring this national health problem out into the open and start staring down the shame that exists around being lonely.

We often give (and get) well-meaning advice that we should get out more and meet more people, take a class, or join a gym, however, even those who are attending lots of cultural and community events can still experience loneliness. The State of the Nation report on social connection found that while cultural and community engagement activities hold great value, to remedy the loneliness problem we need to focus on nurturing community, where we feel like we can rely on others for support and assistance.

My lived experience certainly lines up with that. It didn’t matter how many times I attended my kid’s school events, went to the lantern parade, helped out at the swimming carnival, I often felt lonelier at these events surrounded by people than I did at home. The alarm signals of loneliness were squeezing my insides but I had no idea how to break through all that shame and self-stigma and get my hunger for connection met. It felt like a chasm that I did not know how to cross. I needed people to help me learn how to connect and feel like I belonged somewhere.

That’s what I found at GROW – people who had also faced a chasm and learned the ropes for crossing it. People who then helped others who came after them by writing down their experience and crafting tools and principles that build an intentional healing community. The GROW program’s principle of community says that decentralisation from self and participation in a healthy community is the very process of recovery and personal growth.

For me, it’s a no-brainer – GROW has helped me practise friendship and learn how to connect – with myself, with my family, with friends and with the wider community. This mutual help model, based on the principles of truth, character and friendship, nurtures caring and sharing in the community and has worked for tens of thousands of people since the GROW movement began in Hurstville back in 1957.

Where to connect

There are weekly groups in Tweed Heads, Murwillumbah, Lismore and Nimbin. Now a GROW group has started in Mullumbimby, every Thursday morning at 10am in the cottage at the Mullumbimby Neighbourhood Centre. GROW groups are free, confidential and effective for improving mental wellbeing. GROW is accredited under the National Standards for Mental Health Services and funded by NSW Health. There is no referral needed and no wait list – people can simply show up. 

The groups are led by humble people who have experienced mental ill-health and sought help themselves and now have their hands out ready to help others and walk beside them on the road to recovery, connection and community. 

eGROW 

Groups are also available online under the eGROW program and there is also a free introductory Growing Resilience Program (6 x 1hr sessions per week) which introduces some of the key concepts and tools of the GROW program.

GROW is now also facilitating the Get Growing peer group mental wellbeing programs in schools around the Northern Rivers. By learning how to meet their social and emotional wellbeing needs early in life, our youth will go on to foster mentally healthier communities.

For more information about GROW groups and programs visit grow.org.au or call 1800 558 268.

♦ Jo Young is a program worker at GROW NSW/ACT branch based in Ballina.