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Byron Shire
May 15, 2021

Constable Care

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Kol Dimond, Mullumbimby

I would like to send out my heartfelt thanks and warmest community vibes to our new resident Mr. Plod.

Arriving recently, I’m sure he has found Mullumbimby a treasure trove of potential summary offences!

Keeping the streets safe from hippies walking across the roads at funny angles and pulling up families of bicyclists to ensure that registrations and protection visas are all in ship shape condition and working order. Our streets are now safer places to live.

Speeding around town, Constable Care has been a shining example of law enforcement and duty of care.

Mothers Day was wonderful knowing that there were at least four noddy cars pulling up families and mums off on their way out to the local beaches or parks for a potentially law breaking BBQ or nuddie swim.

Fishing permits, dog walkers, jaywalkers, helmetless bike riders, double-parking trouble makers, zimmer frame defects and young men walking the streets after dark are all in the sights of our new super hero Constable Care.

The reality of all this fuss and busybody nonsense is a slow but sure build up of resentment towards those elected and paid to represent Joe Public.

Whatever your personal thoughts about the police it seems to me that there is a time and place from which they can either disrupt and scare those whose lives they are supposed to be protecting, or work with and work for the community and the citizens of a town to encourage cooperative and sensible policing.

Someone should tell Mr. Plod next time they encounter his warm and fuzzy rule book that his subtle-as-a-brick policing techniques are alienating and out of sync with a small sleepy town such as Mullumbimby.

Hopefully if our new residents decide to stay on for longer than a few months maybe they would like to come and support the next sausage sizzle fund-raiser at the sports pitches or pick up a shovel and help fill in some our more important concerns such as potholes.



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  1. Sounds like there’s at least one very angry hippy in Mullum. The cop sounds like he’s definitely waking up the joint, long overdue. Hide them chellums, baby.

  2. AHHHH! Social control alive and well as a result of less than poor abilities and wisdom to gauge what make up a community.


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