Everyone’s banging on about the Kate Middleton Mother’s Day family photo scandal. Where’s Kate? Well it’s obvious. The royal family are lizards and they ate her. Shapeshifting reptilian overlords don’t always have a lot of self-control, nor are they very good at Photoshop. Lizards have to eat you know.
The outcry around this photo is bizarre. It tells me one thing for certain, humanity is fucked. And not because we fail at Photoshop. Because we fail at caring about stuff that matters. It’s bizarre to think anyone really cares about this stupid photo. So what if it’s doctored? Maybe she is sick. Maybe she left her family? Maybe she’s a lizard who forgot how to shapeshift back. Maybe she’s one of the most privileged women on earth living in ludicrous luxury in an archaic meaningless institution, responsible for the colonisation, desecration and murder of cultures around the globe who woke up one day and realised it was a sham. Maybe she didn’t feel like having her photo taken?
I am not interested in Kate Middleton. The real question is why do people care so much? Of all the known problems we face, Kate Middleton’s Mother’s Day photo not being real is possibly the least troubling. We have real shit to worry about.
Over 32 000 people have been killed in Gaza. I watched footage of children starving to death. Little kids in a war, dying in front of me. That’s worth outrage. That’s worth demanding answers. That’s worth demanding government work towards a peaceful resolution. But no, we can tolerate these photos. What we can’t tolerate is Kate’s fuzzy sleeve.
Putin has just won the Russian election that some say is ‘rigged’ with a landslide 90%, this will underwrite the continued assault on Ukraine, in what has been described as a ‘forever’ war. Over 30 000 people have been killed in this war, the largest attack on a European country since World War II. But we’re worried about Kate’s weirdly placed feet.
America is on track to have Trump claim presidency. He’s been impeached twice, tried to thwart the peaceful transfer of power after losing the 2020 election and faces scores of charges in multiple criminal cases, yet he is back and on a trajectory to rule as an autocrat. On the global stage, the sociopathy of the key players is Shakespearean. It’s terrifying. But we’re worried about Kate’s hair.
Capitalism is killing us. 1.2 billion people live in multi-dimensional poverty, 593 million of them are children. Half of the world’s net wealth is held by 1% of the world’s population. The wealth isn’t trickling down, it’s being sucked from the bottom. But hang on, Kate’s face looks strange.
Governments know the bad news about climate change. They know that fossil fuels are the main contributor, yet they keep opening mines. They keep taking donations from fossil fuel companies. At the current rate of warming it’s predicted by 2050 that over 20% of the world won’t be habitable. Over a billion people will be displaced. But we’re perturbed by Kate’s wonky hand. Not the dirty hands of our leaders.
The doomsday clock sits at 90 seconds to midnight. Created by the Bulletin of Atomic Science and Security along with nine Nobel laureates it is the metaphorical representation of how close humanity is to destroying the world via nuclear weapons and climate change. We’ve never been this close. But we’re not talking about this. We’re talking about a stupid photo of a woman none of us know.
Get a grip. Be outraged. But not by a fake photo of fake people living a fake life. They were never real anyway. That’s the point. The lies we’re told are far bigger than that. It’s time we started caring about shit that matters.
Mandy, you’ve nailed it again!
I love your gutsy speaking articles always and feel the same.
Thanks
Your best article EVER!
The climate has always been changing and we are still here Mandy , plant food Co2 is not destroying the world and we are only alive because of it.
You sound as though you need to stop reading Murdoch/LNP propaganda and get an education?
Look up “Aral sea disaster”, it used to be the worlds 4th largest lake, then get back to us on another couple of thousand examples of environmental damage caused by mankind!
I understand your point – but what is consumed in the mass media is absolutely relevant because it impacts how people think and how adequately they are informed. Me accessing better news sources doesn’t change that. Clearly I do read more broadly. It’s about what counts for news in Murdoch media etc – because the bulk of the population access that.
Sorry Mandy – most of us actually don’t give a damn and ironically it’s “journos” (like you and those @$#s on sunrise tv) convincing us that we do..
I have to agree with you there Annie!
Well done, Mandy. A gold-standard column. You could have mentioned other shape-shifting lizards. Rupert Murdoch is king of the shape-shifters, Dutton, Trump et al, follow suit. As do many other truly retrograde politicians.
Shape-shifting lizards aren’t just confined to the Royal Family though, nor should they be entirely without public scrutiny. Edward VII’s collaboration with the Nazis during World War 2 comes to mind and, of course more recently, Prince Andrew’s friendship with Jeffrey Epstein and all that involves! But back to shape shifters – they do live among us, today’s Guardian Australia article “World’s top fossil-fuel bosses deride efforts to move away from oil and gas” clearly shows that no human could do or say such a thing.
Surely, only shape-shifting lizards would be without any concerns about the future of the planet or their children when they say “We should abandon the fantasy of phasing out oil and gas, and instead invest in them adequately, ” to quote the head of the Saudi oil company Aramco at this week’s conference in Houston Texas where the chief executives of the world’s biggest oil and gas companies poured scorn on efforts for a rapid phase-out of fossil fuels and a shift to renewables.
Yes, when it comes to ‘news’ the antics of the ‘royal family’ have a place as an AI-generated algorithm for producing comic-book-like stories for the likes of Woman’s Day, Who, Woman’s Weekly, Daily Mail etc, but the real stuff we should be truly worried about never gets reported – NASA’s Global Climate Change website reports this week that global Co2 levels now at 425 parts per million. When I was born in 1961 it was 312 ppm.
Take your pick about what you think is news.
NASA’s
Why all this fake news Mandy, good question? Because the owners and editors in our increasingly suspect billionaire owned and operated media decide what we see and hear. Tell us what to think and what to be angry about and there doesn’t seem to be a damned thing we can do about it? Even with multiple attempts to introduce an inquiry into said media and legislation to stop the misinformation, disinformation and lies, while we drown in a sea of this contrived Media/LNPee.
Look at yesterday, why did we see this deplorable Farage and this Trump lie fest. Trump whom cannot post a bond of over $600 million for rape and fraud prosecutions and another pending 90 charges still to come, attacks and insults Australia’s ambassador to the USA. And our equally suspect leftover Dutton, the LNP opposition Leader, backs Trump and ask’s questions in our Parliament QT about removing our Ambassador because this criminal Trump, that “Dutton admires”, doesn’t like our Ambassador’s honesty and forthrightness. Shouldn’t our media really demanding Duttons resignation, instead of screening this endless crap they are channelling into our lounge rooms?
Thanks. Its a relief to see SOMEONE standing up and yelling that our house is on FORE and WhyTF is everyone (ie Governements) acting like its business as usual. We’re a strange species.
It’s quite obvious where she’s been: she’s growing out a bad haircut 💇♀️ . I’m doing much the same myself. Fortunately, it doesn’t stop me posting.
Fascination with the British Royal Family is really nothing to get het up about. We all love to marvel at the heights of human achievement. We gaze in wonder at the magic skills of any athletes who vie for the GOAT title. We’re transfixed by the highest, fastest, strongest performers in the Olympics. The British royals win the pomp and ceremony Olympics hands down and even the staunchest republicans can’t get enough of it.
The media, of all persuasions, plaster their spicier antics on the front page just as they do the indiscretions of infamous young football idols. We all need distractions!
Thanks for your clear eyed view of reality, Mandy. There’s the indescribable horror of Gaza, and the desperate plight of Rohingya refugees in Cox’s bazar and the relentless violence in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, the disastrous and destructive power grab of Russia’s invasion of Ukraine … all horrific realities in our world on the deliberate murdering people front. Then there is the reality of planetary (ill) health, rising temperatures and the rapid extinction of many species. There is much more to concern us than the shenanigans of an English vestige of class and privilege.
Mandy, the green beacon of truth, justice and disinformation every week after week after week, please…..