Too much money is never enough

Have you heard of National Mining and Related Industries Day? No? That’s probably because it isn’t a thing, except in the mind of Gina Rinehart, who recently celebrated this imaginary occasion by flying planeloads of her favourite sycophants into Moomba gasfield in South Australia so she could quote herself and her new besties, Elon Musk and Donald Trump.

A video has surfaced of this whole sordid event, where Rinehart appeared in a dress adorned with the word ‘Mining’ and with a little sign hanging on her back saying ‘Dig Baby Dig’.

Rinehart’s party was co-sponsored by Santos, who run Moomba and a vast area of the surrounding country, which is now an industrial wasteland.

Speakers included Santos CEO Kevin Gallagher, global warming denialist Ian Plimer, (who described Rinehart as ‘the greatest woman this country has ever produced’) and the leader of the federal opposition, one Peter Dutton.

Also in attendance were senators Pauline Hanson, Susan McDonald and Matt Canavan, and the member for Hinkler, Keith Pitt, all from Queensland.

Gina Rinehart is Australia’s richest person, which is another way of saying she has accumulated more money than anyone could spend in a thousand lifetimes. One symptom of this form of mental illness is that too much money is never enough, which is why she is now on a crusade to get Peter Dutton elected.

A Labor government which gives people like her almost everything they want is not good enough. 110 per cent effort is required.

How high?

Dutton has already proved himself a willing lapdog. His political transition from ‘unelectable’ to ‘maybe’ came courtesy of Gina Rinehart bankrolling his campaign to destroy the Voice.

He returned the favour by flying across the country to attend the great woman’s 70th birthday party. She has since staged multiple private political fundraisers for Dutton at her various homes.

Grovelling pays, bigly it seems.

At his filmed appearance for National (Moomba) Mining Day, Peter Dutton said, ‘the revenue generated by mining helps to build Australia, care for Australia and to defend Australia. And yet this reality is overlooked by the current federal Albanese Labor government.’

Going deeper into fantasy-land, Dutton said of Labor, ‘It’s now a party which panders to social and environmental activists, to inner city green voters, and, of course, to the big union bosses who want new power in national life. Consequently, this government has pursued a hostile agenda towards mining, and it’s sidelined the national interest in the process.’

He claimed that Albo and friends were pressing ahead with something he called the green tape agenda. ‘And make no mistake, this agenda is about putting environmental goals ahead of economic ones. Rather than striking a balance, the regulatory burdens are going to get even worse.’

The would-be PM then said, ‘Labor is pressing ahead with a reckless renewables only plan. It’s committed to rolling out weather-dependent energy on an industrial scale. Electricity costs are already skyrocketing, and we know that families can’t afford it.’

On and on it went. Nuclear, coal and gas were all that would save Australia from oblivion, it seemed. ‘Friends, I make you this promise,’ he said. ‘A Dutton Coalition government will be the best friend the resource sector in Australia will ever have. We will have your backs, and I hope that you’ll have ours as well.

‘Gina, a final word to you. I want to say thank you very much for your friendship, but also the way in which you have championed this industry, the leadership you’ve provided. You’re not only bettering our nation through your philanthropic deeds, but you’re also playing a pivotal role in contributing to our national debate.’

The wisdom of Gina

So what was the great woman’s latest contribution to the national debate? After doing her version of the Trump dance, she wondered if National Mining Day should be extended for a month of two, before talking up her gas pals Santos, who she said had contributed ‘immensely’ to the country.

‘Don’t you just love the saying, “drill, baby, drill”, essential for getting gas to supply homes and industry around Australia? Well, maybe it’s just a little timid whisper out here in Australia now, as it’s getting so darned hard to drill, baby drill, and our government wants to see the end of the fossil fuel industry.

‘These days, some like to claim that our country can run on sunshine and windmills. By all means, put these on your own properties if you wish. But please stop forcing this on taxpayers when the wind doesn’t always blow and the sun doesn’t always make it to your solar panels.’

Gina Rinehart then said, ‘This expensive net zero cult sure likes to use lots of fossil fuels for their many, many trips, including using hundreds of private jets. Does anyone here want the taxpayer to keep funding these trips?’

She went on to claim that the mining sector contributed more tax to the economy than all other sectors put together, before conflating Australia with America via her use of the word LINOs (Liberals In Name Only, a play on Trump’s insult to anyone who didn’t bow to him RINOs – Republicans In Name Only).

‘This is not a time for LINOs timidly fiddling around a few edges, careful not to upset the minority noises or rapidly increasing bureaucrats, none of whom will ever vote for the Coalition,’ she said. ‘We need to make Australia great again, don’t we?’

Rinehart then went on to talk up Elon Musk and his imaginary department DOGE (Department of Government Efficiency). ‘It’s time for leadership with courage. Let’s not be frightened to learn from the success of President-elect Donald Trump,’ she said, putting up a slide of herself celebrating at Mar-a-lago on US election night.

Mighty Mr Musk

‘This President-elect surrounds himself with people who already are an outstanding success,’ she said. Ah, okay.

‘So what should we do? We need to cut government tape regulations, government wastage and tax burdens across Australia. We need a USA style DOGE that delivers action, one that helps to return dollars to our pockets and investment back to Australia.

‘Don’t be frightened to call for, “make our bank accounts great again”. We need governments to reduce the number of approvals required for projects.’

Gina Rinehart closed with a quote from the eccentric far-right libertarian President of Argentina Javier Milei (he of the five cloned dogs), the man currently grinding the non-wealthy residents of his country into the ground via extreme austerity programs: ‘The collectivism and moral posturising of the woke agenda have collided with reality and no longer have credible solutions to offer to the actual problems of the world.’

So there you go, you’ve got it straight from the experts on reality. All we have to do is listen to Elon and Gina and everything will be just dandy. Stop regulating them and their mates, let them keep getting richer than anyone has ever been, forget about environmental protections, pretend the climate crisis isn’t happening, and stop being woke.

Simple, isn’t it?

Originally from Canberra, David Lowe is an award-winning filmmaker, writer and photographer with particular interests in the environment and politics. He’s known for his campaigning work with Cloudcatcher Media.