Trigger warning: discussion of coercive control.
The whole world is experiencing what it’s like to be the victim of a coercive control relationship. Even here in Byron Bay our lives are being psychologically shaped, and materially impacted by the dementing malignant narcissist and his sadistic sidekick, with a pattern of abuse all too familiar, particularly to women.
Coercive control is not confined to intimate partner relationships, it’s the modus operandi of patriarchy itself. The phase we are in currently though is potentially the most dangerous.
The Perpetrator in Chief is losing his grip on power. He’s throwing women loyal to him under the bus. Courts are saying no to his crazy plans, MAGAs are waking up, the Epstein files aren’t going away, seats are flipping to Democrats, the ballroom/bunker isn’t being built, key allies said no to his illegal war, which he appears to be losing.
Unless death finds him first, the statistics indicate he will continue to ratchet up violence and killing to compensate for his dwindling sense of power. Shocking war crimes have already been committed under his command, and major escalations have been threatened.
Trump and Netanyahu’s power play has killed thousands of innocent people, ended rules-based order and alliances, put a wrecking ball though global financial systems, is depriving the world of vital resources and trade, seizing territory, singling out countries, isolating, threatening, intimidating, and harassing them, and making us question our choices, values, and freedoms so that ultimately, we even question ourselves.
This is not random chaos; this is how coercive control works.
For a while world leaders played along, hoping if they just kept their heads down and placated the insatiable megalomaniac with gold trinkets, they would dodge the direct impacts of his abuse. Wrong.
If you’re somebody who’s ever wondered ‘why did she stay in the relationship if she knew he was abusive’, this is exactly how it happens.
His constant social media posts, flip-flopping, and TACO (Trump Always Chickens Out) moments, with deadlines and declarations that ‘all hell will break lose’ if his demands are not met, are a strategy of attacking and retreating designed to hijack our nervous systems, keeping us off balance and making us doubt our instincts and judgment. It’s exhausting.
Even the stock market is breathing in and out to his words, with some people making an obscene amount of money betting on his next moves, using insider information.
Australia’s leaders appear to be slowly waking up to the fact that appeasing an abuser doesn’t work. Despite sending over several extremely large cheques for AUKUS and being the first to offer support for the objectives of the Iran war, sending a reconnaissance aircraft, missiles, and personnel to the Middle East, it is not enough. It never will be. That’s the whole point.
After some late-night rage posting about the lack of support for his war, Trump singled out Australia for punishment and placed 100 per cent tariffs on our pharmaceutical exports and is attacking our pharmaceutical benefits scheme (PBS), a cornerstone of Medicare and our national identity. Nothing says we’re your besties more than sticking the boot in while the country is running out of petrol and fertiliser.
Like all victims of abuse, it is difficult to comprehend that someone you thought was your partner, who had your back, turns out to be the monster under the bed and your abuser. This is the invidious position Australia now finds itself, in a permanently changed world order. We need to plan for our safe exit from this toxic relationship.
To add fuel to the fire, the whole world is running low on oil and other supplies since Iran placed restrictions on ships moving through the Strait of Hormuz after the US and Israel attacked them.
Australia has now joined more than 40 nations, led by the United Kingdom, to initiate diplomatic and economic efforts to open the Strait of Hormuz to free the flow of energy supplies and ensure safe maritime navigation.
Price shocks are rippling out through supply chains and increasing the cost of everything. Prime Minister Albanese addressed the nation and told us to prepare for difficult months ahead. Things could worsen if the war continues and escalates.
We are well placed in Byron Shire to meet many of the challenges ahead. There are fantastic ideas being shared on community notice boards and in established resilience networks for energy, transport and food production. We have sunlight, water, soil and so many community-minded, skilled, and creative people with the know-how to get things done.
There are already well-established local food production and distribution networks with farmers’ markets, community gardens, honesty stalls, and seed and produce swaps. Let’s get this really cranking and create the world we want with a vision for peace and equality, not coercion and war.
Jo Immig is a former advisor to the NSW Legislative Council and coordinator of the National Toxics Network. She’s currently a freelance writer and researcher.
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