18.2 C
Byron Shire
March 29, 2024

Storylines – Recognising the importance of gentle men

Latest News

Man charged over domestic violence and pursuit offences – Tweed Heads

A man has been charged following a pursuit near Tweed Heads on Monday.

Other News

Heavy traffic on M1 predicted over Easter long weekend

Bottlenecks in Northern NSW are predicted to occur at Coffs Harbour and Tugun over the Easter long weekend. This is expected to be further impacted by work on the Pacific Highway just north of the Queensland border.

Govt cost-shifting ‘erodes financially sustainable local government’

Byron Shire Council looks set to add its voice to the growing chorus calling on the state government to stop shifting responsibilities and costs onto local government.

UK court seeks assurances from US over Julian Assange

The UK High Court of Justice has released a 66 page judgement seeking more information from the United States relating to Australian citizen Julian Assange, which it says it needs before deciding whether to grant the WikiLeaks founder leave to appeal his extradition.

Biz confidence up, says Business NSW

The state's peak body for business says confidence in the sector has increased but cost of living pressures continue to impact customer spending.

Murwillumbah’s Rebecca Whan recognised for tireless work post 2022 floods

Murwillumbah was severely impacted by the 2022 floods and it was a huge community effort to support, rescue and inspire everyone to move forward. 

Save Wallum finalist in NSW 2024 environment awards

The Save Wallum campaign has been named as a finalist in the Nature Conservation Council of NSW Environment Awards 2024. The award ceremony will be held in Sydney tonight, and Save Wallum spokesperson and ecologist James Barrie will be attending with Tegan Kitt, another founding member of the group.

This article is made possible by the support of Ninbella Gallery.

♦ Budgeram means story in Bundjalung language.

WARNING: Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander viewers are warned that the following story contains images of deceased persons.


Father and son, Glen Cook with Lewis Cook of the Bundjalung nation. Photo supplied by Cook family.

The world needs gentle men. A gentle man is someone who puts more into the world than he takes out. For me this is an adequate description of First Nations men. In fact, this is my experience with First Nations men. Men who forever put the needs of their family and others before their own. Men who work tirelessly to provide for an entire tribe, in partnership with our women, our queens. Men who protect and teach the young ones so that the tribe can continue to thrive for generations.

Eli Cook with his grandfather Lewis Cook. Photo supplied by Cook family.

I grew up with gentle men. From my grandfather and uncles to my own father, these men encapsulated everything that is good and just about males in our society.

Unfortunately, not all Australians view First Nations men in this way. In fact, certain research has found that up to three-quarters of Australian society are biased, either consciously or subconsciously, against First Nations men. But why is this so? Why do other people’s perceptions of First Nations men differ so sharply against my own?

Lurline, Elil’s grandmother and Lewis Cook – as young Indigenous people they were not afforded the same rights and privileges as white Australians. Photo courtesy of the Cook Family.

In Australia there has been a long and deep-rooted stigmatisation of black males. From the very start of colonisation, First Nations men were targeted in order to actively reduce their influence over the rest of their community. Under the theme of terra nullius, our people were stripped of any rights they held over their land. Through violent means our people were forced from their homelands with much bloodshed ensuing.

This left the men of our communities ravaged. The patriarchy of white male society guaranteed that we were demonised to shore up support for their blood thirsty, land grabbing causes. We lost a generation of warriors, teachers, and lore men who had for generations, maintained a balance in our society. Yin and yang, male and female, on equal terms maintaining fairness and continuity. We were left with a generation of men without guidance, support, and leadership. This led to addiction and violence within our communities, an insidious but purposeful symptom of colonisation.

Often the most violent and reprehensible men in our communities would rise from this chaos and be given status by the colonisers. They were brandished with kingplates and told that they held dominion over all else. Such action provided these men with power and influence leading to further generations who viewed selfishness and ownership as important. We became what we had once resisted.

Eli with his brothers Kris and Josh Cook along with his father Glen and grandfather Lewis. Photo supplied by Cook family.

Our gentle men still existed though. Whilst stripped of influence and forced to the sidelines, these men remained and continued to care for their communities and land. They continued to teach, share knowledge and maintain strength. In fact, these men were still the majority, despite the best efforts of the colony to destroy them.

Today, First Nations people make up 29 per cent of Australia’s prison population, despite representing only three per cent of our total population. Those who are incarcerated are overwhelmingly male. First Nations male suicide rates are the highest in the world as we continue to be demonised and victimised in a country we are supposed to call home.

In 2019 I sat in dismay as Kerryanne Kennerly was shown on national television portraying First Nations men as violent rapists. I had heard racist comments on television before, but these words struck a chord. How can the behaviour of the so very few serve as the accepted image of First Nations men in Australia? I watched as she was applauded, by some, for her comments. Condemned by others. But I was left heartbroken and lost as to how we got here.

Glen and Eli Cook at home on Angel’s Beach at Ballina. Photo Tree Faerie.

There is a perception in this country that First Nations men hold some type of ingrained depravity that makes us unapproachable and dangerous. But this is not the case. Whilst there are elements within our communities who cause harm, they are in the minority, like in any other community.

Our men have been pushed to the sidelines for a long time. We have allowed others to speak for us and determine who we are. It is now time for gentle men to stand up. To set aside negative stereotypes and become agents of change within our society. The symptoms of colonisation remain and continue to cause sustained damage to our people. But there is no reason for us to accept this. It is time, once again, to strike balance within our communities and create a more positive outlook for our future. A future of gentle men.


Eli Cook at Angels Beach. Photo David Lowe

Author

Eli Cook is from the Nyangbal clan of the Bundjalung nation.

His family are descendants of the South Ballina tribe.

As a local school teacher from the Ballina area he has worked closely with the Aboriginal community for the past eight years.

‘I hold a great interest in Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander advancement and seek to create stronger communities through truth sharing and shared cultural experiences,’ says Eli.

Bugalbee.


More Storylines articles

Invasion Day – time to create unity through recognition and justice

As 26 January approaches our communities are once more gripped by polarised views of the date.

32

If not now then when?

In 1901, when Australia’s Constitution was originally determined, there was no direct mention of First Nations people. In fact, it was designed to deliberately exclude us.

14

The moment we can change the course of history

For decades, Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people have been campaigning for change to the current political system in Australia. Many incremental changes have led us to this moment in history...

0

Storylines – The Voice, it’s time

For generations, First Nations people have consistently and persistently pointed to self-determination as being essential in making meaningful difference in the lives of our people.

30

Storylines – Upcycle the festive season

♦ Budgeram means story in Bundjalung language. Here comes Christmas, the festive season; the year is drawing to a close and we put the icing on the year with the biggest celebration in our collective calendar. For many it’s a problematic time...

1

Storylines – Boomalli Aboriginal Artists Co-operative

♦ Budgeram means story in Bundjalung language. Thirty-five years ago, ten Aboriginal artists gathered to create an Aboriginal Artists Co-operative in Sydney, the place of first point of contact with the English in 1788, when Captain Cook proclaimed that the land was...

4

Storylines – Belonging places

Belonging is a feeling of security and support we experience when we experience a sense of acceptance and inclusion in community. Belonging is a sense of being connected to something greater

4

Storylines – Working with mob

Many are asking ‘who do I talk to?’ if I want to work with mob? Taking the time to yarn, engage and build relationships is key.

0

Storylines – The Voice of the voiceless

My grandfather would often tell me a story. A story about a community. This community was self-sufficient, self-reliant, and self-determining of their own lives.

1

Storylines – Returning to old ways of housing

Kinship and Country obligations for mob resulted in bands, or groups of families living together and sharing everyday life, prior to colonisation.

4


Support The Echo

Keeping the community together and the community voice loud and clear is what The Echo is about. More than ever we need your help to keep this voice alive and thriving in the community.

Like all businesses we are struggling to keep food on the table of all our local and hard working journalists, artists, sales, delivery and drudges who keep the news coming out to you both in the newspaper and online. If you can spare a few dollars a week – or maybe more – we would appreciate all the support you are able to give to keep the voice of independent, local journalism alive.

2 COMMENTS

  1. Thank you for this beautifully written essay on gentle men and the greater respect, joy and wisdom it brings to all. All of this is also contained in the Uluru Statement from the Heart. The world needs more gentle men and you have opened a dialogue that we can all join in and create a better society.
    Keep writing please. Inspiration speaks from your words. Blessings,

  2. Eli, this is such a powerful and important piece of writing! I couldn’t LOVE it more! Thank you. It totally subverts the colonial narrative that defines masculinity and strength in such a toxic way. Thanks for your insight.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Where should affordable housing go in Tweed Shire?

Should affordable and social housing in the Tweed Shire be tucked away in a few discreet corners? Perhaps it should be on the block next to where you live?

Making Lismore Showground accessible to everyone

The Lismore Showground isn’t just a critical local community asset that plays host to a number of major events each year, but has also been used as an evacuation centre during past natural disasters in the region. 

Iconic Lennox beach shed upgraded –  not demolished

Lennox Park and the shelter shed has now been upgraded and reopened.

Govt cost-shifting ‘erodes financially sustainable local government’

Byron Shire Council looks set to add its voice to the growing chorus calling on the state government to stop shifting responsibilities and costs onto local government.