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April 14, 2021

Mandy Nolan’s Soap Box: How to Disconnect

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The 10 Commandments of World Domination

unpluggedHow do you turn back a boat full of refugees without recognising their suffering and giving them asylum? How do you drive past a homeless person in your brand new Mercedes without the slightest glimmer of guilt about your affluence?

How do you eat a big dinner in front of a TV showing images of children starving in Africa? How do you use plastic bags knowing full well they are choking our oceans? How do you eat a Kit-Kat knowing they are indirectly killing the orang-utans by destroying the forests for palm oil? How do you campaign to raise awareness about domestic violence and then defund women’s refuges and emergency housing?

How do you wave your flag on Australia Day knowing that just over 200 years ago this was Aboriginal land? How do you wear t-shirts without feeling the misery of the children who made them in a factory somewhere in Asia? How do you use an iPhone knowing the workers have such high rates of suicide? How do you build a rock wall knowing that it will cause damage somewhere else along the coastline?

How do you make and sell a product like cigarettes knowing that you are killing your customers? How do you support CSG mining knowing the health impacts reported in the US? How do you continue to use major carbon-producing pollutants knowing in a few decades we will be looking at an environmental armageddon?

If you answered ‘I can’t’ to any of these questions, then you are never going to survive in this capitalist dog-eat-dog world. So I’ve come up with the 10-step plan on how to Disconnect and Achieve to Achieve Success.

1. Don’t look. (If you don’t see it, or read it, or hear it, then you don’t know. They used this excuse in Nazi Germany: ‘we didn’t know’.) Don’t read labels. Or books about climate change.

2. Believe you are different, better, smarter, more special than anyone else and that you deserve more. Remember what Orwell said: ‘All pigs are equal, except some pigs are more equal than others’. You are one of those pigs. The more equal pig.

3. Never address the problem when you can blame the whistleblower. Then destroy their credibility. Then crush them into tiny pieces and snort them like cocaine.

4. Look at yourself without actually looking. By this I mean obsess with your exterior. Mirrors and iPhones are good for this. Take pictures of yourself being happy and beautiful in amazing locations. If holidaying in Bali or a third-world country and poor people appear in the background, photoshop them out. Do not look within.

5. Stop caring. And remember, nothing is your fault. You are blameless. It’s not your fault you are fabulous and affluent and you were born into freedom in a first-world country with straight teeth and a nice house. It’s not your responsibility to change the world. You have a right to have as much stuff as you can because it’s your turn. Actually, it’s always Your Turn.

6. Hate people who are different from you. It’s easy – if you are a white man you have hit the jackpot, you can hate black people, women, gays… Hate is not optional. It is the key to complete disconnection. Forget Eat. Pray. Love. You need to Eat. Shop. Hate.

7. Fear. Without fear of change or fear of the ‘other’ you may feel empathy and compassion. This is cancer to a successful disconnect.

8. Become addicted. You are going to need to shut down that part of yourself that feels love for others. Love for Self is all important. But not self-love. These are two very different concepts. A flourishing addiction will help: shopping, eating, not eating, selfies, drugs, cigarettes, booze, power, fast cars… it doesn’t matter – just something compulsive to fill the ache.

9. Accept you will never be happy and fulfilled. Realise in this constant state of striving, of being an aspirant, that feeling unfulfilled and unhappy is the driver of your behaviour. The most fully disconnected beings know that the trick to achieving disconnection is never actually connecting. The mantra is not ‘I am enough’; it is ‘Can I have some more?’

10. Profit over people. If it makes money then it must be good.

11. Change is for losers. Change is something you want at the shops, not in your life.

12. Don’t Question Anything. If someone says a 10-point plan and has 12 points then accept that is how it should be. If you question you could end up being dealt with as per ‘whistleblowers’ in point 3.

If you follow these rules I can assure you that you will be a fully disconnected being able to live in this world with success. Of course you are now 100 per cent sociopathic, but who cares – next stop: World Domination! CEO! Prime Minister! World Domination! CEO! Prime Minister!

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