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Byron Shire
September 29, 2023

Mandy Nolan’s Soapbox: Will COVID Lose the Government their Next Erection ?

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Men who get covid are six times more likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction.

There’s a lot of chatter about the negative impacts of COVID vaccinations. But what about some of the less savoury aspects of the virus itself? We don’t hear a lot about some of the long-term effects of the actual disease. But there will be. Viruses can be the gift that keeps on giving. Like how measles can later cause subacute sclerosing panencephalitis; a rare and fatal disease of the central nervous system. It’s one of those diseases that just sounds fatal when you say it. Or if you say it with a French accent its almost sexy.

We are hearing about long covid and the many complex health issues that people are facing, long after the virus has passed through their system. I knew about that, but what I didn’t know about was that men who get covid are six times more likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction. Well 5.666666 recurring to be more accurate, but who cares about accuracy, we are talking about penises here! That’s taking the No Jab No Play message to a whole other level. 

Surely it’s not true? Surely it’s just another Big Pharma inspired cockspiracy?

Sadly, no. It’s a hard topic to broach. Well, maybe not that hard…

Research was reported earlier this year in the World Journal of Men’s Health. I’m surprised it wasn’t front-page news. Now there’s some health messaging that might encourage even vax-denying men to get the jab. ‘Get the prick, for your prick!.’ There’s not much the average bloke won’t risk for a well-maintained erection. 

The virus is found to affect the blood vessels that supply the penis, causing the erectile dysfunction. There just isn’t enough blood available to maintain an erect penis. So it’s the virus, not the vax that can potentially cause male infertility and sexual dysfunction. What a cockup.

There goes the whole theory about the vax being made in a lab in China. Because men control the world and no man is going to make a virus that could potentially make his cock floppy. No one wants to be a flaccid dictator. I would believe the whole virus conspiracy if it actually had the reverse affect and gave men improved penile function. ‘I caught covid and now I’m a better lover’ says Barry, 59.  

I love the image they use in health stories around erectile dysfunction. Clearly in any medical story we aren’t going to see a floppy cock. They’re camera shy. Instead we see a bloke, usually in a white shirt, sitting on the side of the bed with his head in his hands. He could be weeping. Basically his cock is broken, so it’s a low moment. Some may say he’s gone ‘soft’.  The woman (and it’s always a hetero situation depicted here) is lying in the bed looking disappointed. I think she’s happily sleeping. Or she’s on tinder looking for a double-vaxed hook up.

Maybe they could start using these pics as health messaging. No point being a freedom fighter if your sword doesn’t work. 

Anyway, I found this ‘research’ and it made me chuckle. What if covid killed the penis? What if men died out and the matriarchy took over? What if covid was, in fact, the harbinger of the death of patriarchy?

I guess we’ll all find out at the next erection. Sorry, election.

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  1. many locals have already had the ross river and barmah forest viruses, and have had to deal with the reoccurring long term effects of each, the addition of co-vid will just add another arrow into their already bankrupt-blue-bomber-bodies…

  2. Nice thought Mandy, but most men who are more prone to contract and be hospitalised with COVID are also either unhealthy, fat or old … that’s a fact. All of those are the biggest risk factors for erectile dysfunction… spurious correlation at best.

  3. And even if you have the Corona virus vaccine you can still contract the virus, and by your logic can therefore open up your chances of having erectile dysfunction. You’re not even funny anymore

    • This doesn’t really make sense. If vaccination offers around 50% protection against infection and around 99% protection against serious illness, how does vaccination “open up your chances of having erecting dysfunction”?

      • August 5, 2021. Dr. Rochelle Walensky, director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention USA discussing the delta variant said this on the jabs….

        “They continue to work well for Delta, with regard to severe illness and death – they prevent it. But what they can’t do anymore is prevent transmission.”

        Where dig you hear “around” 50% protection from infection Liz?

        Broad statements with no references give the impression numbers are simply made up. Doesn’t help anybody.

  4. Stop pushing for covid vaccinations , wheres a call out for choice? Being coerced, threatened or cornered into vaccination is not right . I’m not anti nor pro vaccination . My body, my choice. If people are vaccinated why are they so worried about catching Covid-19 . The flu has caused more deaths and it wasn’t even remotely thought of to make flu vaccines mandatory .

  5. I almost choked on my morning coffee! Mandy, you are a delightedly objective nut-case.
    All pollies [male] could do with a prick-test as such due to their many cocked-up states
    of mind.

  6. The next thing will be that all the Pfizer cult followers will get free Viagra from them! These ridiculous policies have largely been created by men,who are most likely impotent already,certainly in their spirit as only people with no internal spiritual power will force people to follow their belief! It’s more like a stupid religious cult that tries aggressively to monopolize their religion,the vaccination is your savior! And you Mandy have joined the cult and even the greens,so you can get a political position as you know very well that no one will get anywhere in any of the current political parties unless they join this ridiculous cult!

  7. Mandy, How dare you write anything that could even vaguely be interpreted as pro-vaccination: tongue-in-cheek or otherwise.
    This is the Northern Rivers my dear, so even in quite obvious jest you will be seen to be supporting Big Pharma, and that Microchip-implanting cabal of blood-drinking paedophiles operating out of a New York pizza parlor.
    But keep smilin’ anyway.

  8. Fantastic news I say….this means less people on a planet that our species has brutalised/raped/ persecuted/ degraded/tormented and generally treated Mother Earth like a waste dump. OUR species (most human primates not all) doesn’t deserve such a once magnificent /beautiful & magical home. We have learnt NOTHING over the centuries & I see no evidence of that changing . The more limp dicks the better..OH !Yeah remember all those selfish sods chanting “MY BODY MY CHOICE” are not only chronically self obsessed & not concerned about other people’s bodies, but are often anti pro-choice (abortion ) agitators , ironic isn’t it ? ? ? ?

  9. The implications of your article is that you are not a full male unless your “sword works”. There are a lot of men who’s “sword doesn’t work” for a large number of reasons, which can be physically and emotionally challenging. The woman doesn’t really have to “perform” so the onus for satisfying sex is laid at the door of the male. No sword, no sex, no satisfaction for the woman so the story line goes. Frustrated wife seeks satisfaction elsewhere, all supported by the sisterhood. I find your article sexist, but of course this will go no further as sexism in now in the female domain and only men make sexist claims. Shame.

  10. The Government position of forcing people to be injected with an experimental drug is unforgivable. Last i looked over 460 people have been registered as having died from the Jab and over 50,000 injuries listed on the TGA site.
    Preventing people from life saving early treatment protocols like Prof. Borody’s “Tripple therapy” is criminal. How dare the Government prevent me from protecting myself and my family! Especially when it has NO Early treatment alternative. Think about, you test, you go home and wait. No recommend treatment, No Advice other than “Go to hospital if you cannot breath”

    Am not sure if this will even be posted, so will not bother with supporting evidence

  11. Joseph ,wrong and wrong again there have not been 460 people who have died because of the jab. The figure refers to people who have died soon after the jab and includes many other causes. As of today there have been nine deaths from vaccinations. These have all been with the Astra Zeneca Vaccine and over 10 million does have been delivered. Stop publishing false information.


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