We’re still in July, so it’s probably a bit premature to nominate this as the worst movie of the year. It is, however, down there in the depths, giving A Million Ways To Die In The West a run for its money.
Not to put too fine a point on it, when the nosegays are being handed out on that malodorous presentation night, this one will be very hard to beat. Call me an old fogey, a wowser, even, but I have never felt a compelling urge to see myself conjugating the carnal verb on video. But if the stunted, fetid imagination of Jason Segel and his co-writers is anything to go by, it is all the rage out there in cyberspace.
The preamble has Annie and Jay (Cameron Diaz and Segel) as red-hot young lovers, doing it here, there and everywhere. After they marry and have a couple of kids, they find that their sexual activities are in decline. Wishing to re-ignite their ardour, they film themselves going at it hammer and tong.
Jay neglects to erase the vid from the laptops he is distributing and… well, you’d have to have come down in the last shower if you can’t guess the rest. As rom-coms go, this is almost impossibly bad, with the major point of interest being whether the term iPad is mentioned more times than the logo of the Macintosh apple flits across the screen.
As far as product placement goes, it is unarguably an Oscar-winning effort – there is even an entirely gratuitous scene in which Jay marvels at the sturdy workmanship of his computer. Suck it up, consumers.
Everything that happens is predictable, the preachy morality is bogus, the wit is of the variety found on dunny walls – it includes the sight gag of an eleven-inch pink dildo; probably the same prop used in the similarly moronic 22 Jump Street – and how much Diaz must have been paid to so demean herself is beyond speculation.
~ John Campbell
